You have recently heard that a friend of yours has had some problems as a result of some unusual weather. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - express your concern (i.e. - say you are sorry to hear what has happened) - tell him/her about a similar experience that you once had - give some advice, or - offer help
Sample Response
Dear Edward, I am so sorry to learn from my cousin that your house has been badly damaged by the recent flash flood due to some sudden and excessive rain in your area. To be honest, I have never really heard of this kind of unusual weather before, especially, in the part of our country where you live. Anyway, I thought that only the area, in which I live now, is susceptive to such unusual weather since it is a rather low-lying land. In fact, I also faced a similar kind of situation about 5 years ago when the river, surrounding my town, suddenly had swollen because of some excessive rain and caused a flood in a significant part of our town, including my own house. Of course, the flood water had disappeared as suddenly and quickly just as it had arrived, but enough damage to my house was already done. So, don’t worry as you will soon get over with this shock just as I did during my crisis. Also, try to remain as positive as possible and think that you still have a house left that can be fixed sooner or later. Moreover, if you need any help, please do not hesitate to ask me. Warm wishes, Julian Anderson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. flash flood caused by unusually heavy rain Original: flash flood due to some sudden and excessive rain Suggested revision: This is more concise and idiomatic. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 2. Local fix Original: especially, in the part Suggested revision: Do not separate especially from its complement. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 3. susceptible to Original: susceptive to Suggested revision: Susceptible is the correct form. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 4. a rather low-lying area Original: a rather low-lying land Suggested revision: Area is the appropriate countable noun. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 5. about five years ago Original: about 5 years ago Suggested revision: Spell out a small number in a letter. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 6. the river surrounding my town Original: the river, surrounding my town, Suggested revision: The identifying phrase should not be enclosed by commas. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 7. swelled Original: had swollen Suggested revision: Past simple gives the event sequence naturally. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 8. heavy rainfall Original: some excessive rain Suggested revision: This is the usual collocation. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 9. much of our town Original: a significant part of our town Suggested revision: This is more natural. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 10. the floodwaters receded Original: the flood water had disappeared Suggested revision: Floodwaters is normally plural and receded is precise. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 11. almost as quickly as Original: as suddenly and quickly just as Suggested revision: Avoid stacking as and just as. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 12. considerable damage had already been done to my house Original: enough damage to my house was already done Suggested revision: This places the passive construction naturally. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
Suggested Rewrites
- flash flood due to some sudden and excessive rain This is more concise and idiomatic.
- especially, in the part Do not separate especially from its complement.
- susceptive to Susceptible is the correct form.
- a rather low-lying land Area is the appropriate countable noun.
- about 5 years ago Spell out a small number in a letter.
- the river, surrounding my town, The identifying phrase should not be enclosed by commas.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully addresses the situation with genuine concern, a relevant personal experience, reassurance, and an offer of help, while maintaining an appropriately warm tone. The main limitations are some awkward collocations and overlong sentences that blur the chronology of the flood experience. Tighten those sentences, use more natural weather vocabulary, and make the offered help more concrete.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All requested purposes are covered clearly, although the final offer of help could be more specific.
Offer one practical form of help, such as accommodation or assistance with repairs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a logical concern-experience-advice-help sequence, but formatting is compressed and some sentences are overloaded.
Use conventional letter paragraphs and divide the flood account into shorter chronological units.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriate overall, though several collocations are inaccurate or overly formal.
Prefer natural phrases such as prone to flooding, recovered from the shock, and floodwaters receded.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures are generally controlled, with some tense, punctuation, and preposition errors.
Simplify long clauses and check past perfect, comma placement, and phrasal-verb complements.