Your best friend just had her first baby. You are currently overseas but will be returning to your hometown in a week. Write to your friend. In your letter: - congratulate your friend - tell her when you will be returning home - ask when you could drop in to meet her and the baby
Sample Response
Dear Emma, I cannot believe I am an aunt now! You have become the mother of a sweet baby girl to make me the happiest person in the world. Many congratulations and my love and blessing for both of you. I regret that I am far away from you. As a matter of fact, I came to Tokyo to attend an official meeting last Monday. My tasks here will occupy me for another week or so I will return to Manhattan on 27th October. I want to see you and your baby as soon as I land. I will probably visit you first and then get back to my apartment. Please do not hesitate to text or call me if you want me to bring anything for you. I will do some shopping for the baby and any suggestion from you is much welcomed. I cannot wait to see you both. I have not heard such thrilling news in decades. My best wished to you all once again. Warm wishes, Eugene
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural congratulations Original: Many congratulations Suggested revision: Congratulations Why it matters: The single word is warmer and more idiomatic in a personal letter.
- 2. Use plural blessings Original: my love and blessing Suggested revision: my love and blessings Why it matters: ‘Blessings’ is conventionally plural in this expression.
- 3. Correct recipient preposition Original: for both of you Suggested revision: to both of you Why it matters: Love and blessings are sent ‘to’ people rather than ‘for’ them here.
- 4. Use warm personal phrasing Original: I regret that I am far away from you Suggested revision: I wish I were there with you Why it matters: This wording sounds more natural and affectionate between close friends.
- 5. Remove formal filler Original: As a matter of fact, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The transition is unnecessarily formal and does not mark a contrast or correction.
- 6. Use natural work phrase Original: an official meeting Suggested revision: a work meeting Why it matters: ‘Work meeting’ sounds more natural in an informal update to a friend.
- 7. Fix joined clauses Original: or so I will return Suggested revision: or so, and I will return Why it matters: The two independent clauses require punctuation and a coordinator.
- 8. Soften visit assumption Original: probably visit you first Suggested revision: would love to visit you first Why it matters: This phrase expresses enthusiasm without presenting the visit as a settled arrangement.
- 9. Use natural return phrase Original: get back to my apartment Suggested revision: go back to my apartment Why it matters: ‘Go back’ is the natural movement phrase from the friend's home.
- 10. Use considerate request tone Original: if you want me to bring anything Suggested revision: if you would like me to bring anything Why it matters: The conditional form is slightly more considerate in an offer of help.
- 11. Correct suggestion phrase Original: any suggestion from you is much welcomed Suggested revision: any suggestions from you would be very welcome Why it matters: The noun, verb form and modifier all need adjustment in this conditional offer.
- 12. Use fitting emotion word Original: such thrilling news Suggested revision: such wonderful news Why it matters: ‘Wonderful’ is the more natural adjective for celebrating a friend's new baby.
Suggested Rewrites
- Many congratulations Congratulations
- my love and blessing my love and blessings
- for both of you to both of you
- I regret that I am far away from you I wish I were there with you
- As a matter of fact, Delete
- an official meeting a work meeting
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a warm, affectionate tone and clearly congratulates the friend while giving a definite return date. However, it announces an immediate visit rather than asking when it would be convenient to meet, so one required purpose is not fully achieved; the single-block structure and several awkward expressions also reduce polish. Add a direct availability question, organise the message into short paragraphs, and proofread fixed phrases and endings.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The congratulations and return date are clear and suitably informal, but the letter does not ask when a visit would be convenient.
Add a direct question asking which day and time would suit the friend for meeting her and the baby.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from congratulations to travel plans and visiting, but one continuous paragraph and repeated excitement statements weaken organisation.
Divide the letter into paragraphs for congratulations, return arrangements, and the proposed visit, removing repeated closing sentiments.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary conveys warmth and includes some range, although phrases such as ‘much welcomed’ and ‘in decades’ are awkward or exaggerated.
Use natural informal expressions such as ‘any suggestions would be very welcome’ and ‘I have not heard such exciting news in years’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a range of sentence forms with generally clear meaning, but clause joining, word form, and passive construction errors recur.
Correct the run-on return-date sentence and forms such as ‘is very welcome’ and ‘best wishes’.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.