You are preparing an outdoors event. Write a letter to your friend to ask for help with the arrangements. In your letter include: - what is the event? - Why will the event happen? - How your friend can help you?
Sample Response
Dear John,
I hope this letter finds you in excellent health. I feel elated to share that I’m organizing a football tournament for all the residents in my vicinity, and I will be overwhelmed with happiness if you can also be a part of this event and assist me with some of the arrangements.
Let me briefly expound on the event. It’ll be held on Saturday evening from 5 PM and stipulated to conclude by 9 PM. This event commences with a welcome speech by the honourable Mayor. Subsequently, the three football matches will be played in a sequential order commencing with children, then male members, followed by female dwellers.
Moreover, the principal objective of conducting these football matches is to donate funds to impoverished kids. The spectators and players have to pay an entry fee of 10 dollars and 20 bucks, respectively. The collected sum will be donated to provide education to underprivileged children.
Additionally, I have taken responsibility for organizing the event entirely. Therefore, it would be tremendously amazing if you could come and volunteer along with me to make the event more successful and memorable.
Thank you in advance, and I look forward to meeting you soon.
Best Regards,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use friendly wording Original: I feel elated to share Suggested revision: I’m excited to tell you Why it matters: The replacement sounds more natural in a letter to a friend.
- 2. Use natural wording Original: vicinity Suggested revision: neighbourhood Why it matters: ‘In my neighbourhood’ is clearer and more conversational for a friend.
- 3. Avoid overstatement Original: I will be overwhelmed with happiness Suggested revision: I’d be really happy Why it matters: The simpler phrase fits the friendly context and conveys the same feeling.
- 4. Use a natural phrase Original: Let me briefly expound on the event Suggested revision: Let me briefly explain the event Why it matters: ‘Explain’ is more natural than the highly formal ‘expound on’ in this letter.
- 5. Use future tense Original: This event commences Suggested revision: The event will commence Why it matters: The scheduled event is in the future, so the future form is needed for consistency.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: in a sequential order Suggested revision: in sequence Why it matters: ‘Sequential order’ is redundant because both words express the same idea.
- 7. Use the right noun Original: female dwellers Suggested revision: women Why it matters: ‘Dwellers’ refers to residents of a place and is unnatural for naming the team category.
- 8. Keep currency style consistent Original: 10 dollars and 20 bucks Suggested revision: $10 and $20 Why it matters: A consistent currency format avoids mixing formal and colloquial terms.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: It’ll be held on Saturday evening from 5 PM and stipulated to conclude by 9 PM. Suggested revision: It’ll be held on Saturday evening from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the incomplete passive construction and gives the time range directly.
- 10. Specify the requested help Suggested revision: Name one or two arrangements you want John to handle instead of asking only for general volunteering. Why it matters: The task asks how the friend can help, but this paragraph does not identify any concrete arrangement.
Suggested Rewrites
- I feel elated to share I’m excited to tell you
- vicinity neighbourhood
- I will be overwhelmed with happiness I’d be really happy
- Let me briefly expound on the event Let me briefly explain the event
- This event commences The event will commence
- in a sequential order in sequence
Why this response received Band 7.0
The event and its charitable purpose are explained clearly, with a logical schedule and relevant supporting details. The main limitation is that the requested help is described only as general volunteering, while the tone and vocabulary are sometimes overly formal for a friend. Specify two or three concrete duties for John and use more natural conversational phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The event and its purpose are well developed, but the friend's practical role is only briefly and vaguely addressed.
State specific ways John can help, such as registering players, collecting fees, or coordinating equipment.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into focused paragraphs and progresses clearly from event details to purpose and assistance.
Use less formulaic paragraph openers so the progression feels more natural in a personal letter.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad vocabulary, although some choices are overly formal or awkward for the context.
Use natural language for a friend and avoid inflated combinations such as excessively emphatic requests.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is generally controlled, with only occasional tense or construction problems.
Keep the event schedule in one consistent future tense and revise awkward passive constructions.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are preparing an outdoors event. Write a letter to your friend to ask for help with the arrangements. In your letter include:
- what is the event?
- Why will the event happen?
- How your friend can help you?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.