You play sport (e.g. football) for a local team. You recently heard that a player in your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your teammate. In your letter: - Say how you feel about the news - Ask about the treatment in the hospital - Suggest some ways of cheering him/her up
Sample Response
Dear Guri,
How are you? I got depressed on hearing the news of your sudden accident and how in the nick of time, you’d been hospitalized.
Since then, I’ve heard that you’re in a severe condition; I pray for your quick recovery every day. You’ve always done your best to bring laurels for our football team and now when our team really needs you in a competition, unfortunately, this mishappening happened with you, and I regret it. However, it would be best if you were not downcast.
Furthermore, I would like you to read some comic books to entertain yourself. If it is not possible to read, then listen to commentary of live match that our team is going to take part in. You’ll be enthralled to know that it’s going to be held the next day. So, when you listen, I’ll be motivating that you’re with us. This thing will also inspire you and help you in healing your wounds. Besides, my younger brother will come to meet you every day, and I think he will amuse you more.
Hoping to see you soon!
Yours Loving,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Natural collocation Original: severe Suggested revision: serious Why it matters: A medical condition is normally described as serious rather than severe here.
- 2. Natural expression Original: bring laurels for Suggested revision: bring success to Why it matters: This wording expresses the achievement more naturally in a personal letter.
- 3. Correct conjunction Original: when Suggested revision: that Why it matters: Use 'now that' to introduce a present situation caused by changed circumstances.
- 4. Correct preposition Original: needs you in a competition Suggested revision: needs you for the competition Why it matters: A team needs a player 'for' an event rather than 'in' it in this construction.
- 5. Warmer encouragement Original: it would be best if you were not downcast Suggested revision: try to keep your spirits up Why it matters: This sounds more natural and supportive when writing to an injured teammate.
- 6. Purposeful transition Original: Furthermore Suggested revision: To help cheer you up Why it matters: The transition should show that the following ideas directly answer the cheering-up request.
- 7. Gentler suggestion Original: I would like you to read Suggested revision: You could read Why it matters: A modal suggestion is more natural than stating what you would like the injured friend to do.
- 8. Natural phrasing Original: to entertain yourself Suggested revision: to pass the time Why it matters: This phrase better describes using books while recovering in hospital.
- 9. Articles and preposition Original: listen to commentary of live match Suggested revision: listen to the commentary on the live match Why it matters: The phrase needs articles and 'on' to form the standard expression.
- 10. Direct sports verb Original: going to take part in Suggested revision: going to play in Why it matters: Teams normally 'play in' a match, which is more direct here.
- 11. Clear time reference Original: held the next day Suggested revision: played tomorrow Why it matters: This wording fits a match and gives the friend a clearer time reference.
- 12. Clear reference Original: This thing Suggested revision: This Why it matters: The noun 'thing' is vague and unnecessary because the preceding idea is already clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- severe serious
- bring laurels for bring success to
- when that
- needs you in a competition needs you for the competition
- it would be best if you were not downcast try to keep your spirits up
- Furthermore To help cheer you up
Why this response received Band 6.0
The letter has a clear supportive purpose and develops several practical ways to cheer the teammate up, with an appropriately friendly tone. Its main limitation is that it never actually asks about the hospital treatment, leaving one required bullet point unfulfilled, while several awkward expressions reduce naturalness. The highest priority is to cover that missing request directly and then revise collocations and sentence structures for clearer, more idiomatic communication.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly expresses concern and develops several cheering-up suggestions, but it does not ask about the teammate's hospital treatment.
Add a direct, caring question about the treatment, its progress, or the expected recovery period.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from concern to encouragement and practical suggestions, although some linking and referencing are mechanical or unclear.
Use simpler transitions and ensure that references such as "this thing" point clearly to a specific idea.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient vocabulary to convey sympathy and encouragement, but several collocations sound unnatural or imprecise.
Replace expressions such as "mishappening happened" and "motivating that" with natural, context-appropriate wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the message, though recurring errors and awkward constructions reduce control.
Prioritise accurate clause structure and prepositions, especially in the longer sentences about the match and recovery.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You play sport (e.g. football) for a local team. You recently heard that a player in your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your teammate. In your letter:
- Say how you feel about the news
- Ask about the treatment in the hospital
- Suggest some ways of cheering him/her up
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.