You want to learn a language. A teacher who teaches this language lives near the area where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In your letter: - say how you came to know about him/her - explain why you want to learn this language - ask what help he/she can offer
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Ichika,
My name is Fiona Gilbert, and I am writing this letter to you with the hope that I will be able to receive some help from you with regard to learning the Japanese language. Oh, in case you are wondering, one of my good friends, who helped you find a new place for you to live a few months ago, actually gave me the information about you.
I want to learn this language mainly because I am planning to move to Japan after a year to do an internship in Industrial Engineering so that I can get some first-hand experience in the advanced engineering process and technologies. In fact, doing this internship in Japan will offer me a definite edge over the others as far as getting a better job opportunity in the engineering sector is concerned, especially, in my country.
Now, I am aware of the fact that you are probably too busy to help me with the Japanese language, but I would really appreciate some of your precious time per week to learn this language. Also, please provide me with some specific instructions on how to best master this language easily.
I hope to hear a positive reply from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Fiona Gilbert
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the self-introduction Original: My name is Fiona Gilbert, and Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The signed name already identifies the writer, so the request can begin directly.
- 2. Remove needless wording Original: writing this letter to you Suggested revision: writing to you Why it matters: “This letter” is redundant because the medium is already clear.
- 3. Use concise phrasing Original: with the hope that I will be able to receive some help from you Suggested revision: in the hope that you can help me Why it matters: The shorter construction states the request naturally without excessive nominal wording.
- 4. Simplify the phrase Original: with regard to learning Suggested revision: with learning Why it matters: The direct preposition is clearer and more concise.
- 5. Use a formal transition Original: Oh, in case you are wondering Suggested revision: For context Why it matters: The conversational interjection is unsuitable in a polite request to an unfamiliar teacher.
- 6. Use natural wording Original: one of my good friends Suggested revision: a friend of mine Why it matters: This is a more natural way to identify the mutual contact.
- 7. Remove repetition Original: a new place for you to live Suggested revision: a new place to live Why it matters: The second “for you” is unnecessary because the intended resident is already clear.
- 8. Name the information precisely Original: actually gave me the information about you Suggested revision: gave me your contact details Why it matters: “Contact details” specifies the information that enabled the writer to reach the teacher.
- 9. Correct the time phrase Original: after Suggested revision: in Why it matters: “In a year” expresses the future time before the planned move.
- 10. Use a formal verb Original: do Suggested revision: undertake Why it matters: “Undertake” is the more precise formal collocation for an internship.
- 11. Correct the capitalisation Original: Industrial Engineering Suggested revision: industrial engineering Why it matters: The academic field is a common noun phrase here and does not require capitals.
- 12. Keep the nouns parallel Original: process Suggested revision: processes Why it matters: The plural “processes” is needed to match the general plural reference to technologies.
Suggested Rewrites
- My name is Fiona Gilbert, and Delete
- writing this letter to you writing to you
- with the hope that I will be able to receive some help from you in the hope that you can help me
- with regard to learning with learning
- Oh, in case you are wondering For context
- one of my good friends a friend of mine
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly explains how the writer learned about the teacher, develops a compelling internship and career reason for studying Japanese, and asks for weekly tuition and learning guidance. Its strongest feature is complete, relevant task coverage with a respectful overall tone. The main limitation is wordiness and occasional overly conversational or awkward phrasing; prioritise a concise request that specifies availability, lesson frequency, and the type of support sought.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully developed with a clear purpose, relevant personal motivation, and specific requests for teaching and guidance.
Ask about the teacher's availability, lesson fees, and whether weekly conversation or structured lessons would best prepare the writer for Japan.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focused paragraphs create a logical progression from the referral to motivation, requested help, and courteous close.
Shorten the career explanation and move directly from the internship goal to the practical tuition request.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and suitable for a polite enquiry, though several expressions are wordy or unnatural.
Use 'a friend recommended you', 'gain practical experience', 'improve my career prospects', and 'weekly lessons'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is generally well controlled, with occasional article, punctuation, and noun-form issues.
Remove unnecessary commas and use concise forms such as 'advanced engineering processes and technologies' and 'an advantage in the job market'.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to learn a language. A teacher who teaches this language lives near the area where you live. Write a letter to the teacher. In your letter:
- say how you came to know about him/her
- explain why you want to learn this language
- ask what help he/she can offer
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.