On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter: - Describe the item you lost. - Explain how you lost it? - Tell the insurance company what you would like them to do?
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am Ankitha, a software engineer hailing from Chennai. I have subscribed to a travel insurance package with your firm and have been paying for two years. I am writing this epistle to claim the insurance for a great product that was lost during my vacation.
Firstly, the lost product is my new mobile phone, manufactured by Apple, costing around 750 Euros. It has fascinating features such as a dual camera, 512 GB of memory, face recognition, and an advanced software version. Although the colour of the gadget is blue, the shade of the back case is green with the scenery of waterfalls.
Furthermore, I visited Kashmir along with my companions last week. We decided to participate in some arduous activities such as bungee jumping, trekking, and river rafting. In the Pahalgam valley, we opted for river rafting. When the ride commenced, I started to click snaps and videos of the spectacular views. Unfortunately, I lost my balance, fell into the river and my mobile was flown away in the water.
Additionally, it is incredibly challenging to survive without my phone, and I have to purchase another one as the earliest. Therefore, I humbly request to insure the same money by transferring it to my bank account as soon as possible.
Thank you for your consideration.
Yours faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use neutral wording Original: hailing from Chennai Suggested revision: from Chennai Why it matters: 'From Chennai' is clearer and less literary in a formal insurance letter.
- 2. Use insurance terminology Original: subscribed to a travel insurance package Suggested revision: taken out a travel insurance policy Why it matters: People take out an insurance policy rather than subscribe to a package.
- 3. Name the payments Original: have been paying for two years Suggested revision: have been paying the premiums for two years Why it matters: Naming the premiums makes the insurance relationship precise.
- 4. Use standard register Original: epistle Suggested revision: letter Why it matters: 'Epistle' is unnecessarily literary for a practical claim letter.
- 5. Use correct collocation Original: claim the insurance Suggested revision: make a claim under my insurance policy Why it matters: The standard expression is to make a claim under an insurance policy.
- 6. Describe value precisely Original: a great product Suggested revision: a valuable item Why it matters: 'Valuable item' accurately identifies the object relevant to the claim.
- 7. Use appropriate noun Original: product Suggested revision: item Why it matters: A personal possession in an insurance claim is an item, not a product.
- 8. Lowercase currency name Original: Euros Suggested revision: euros Why it matters: Common currency names are not capitalized in running text.
- 9. Use clearer detail Original: an advanced software version Suggested revision: the latest software version Why it matters: The revised phrase states the intended feature more naturally.
- 10. Clarify the relationship Original: my companions Suggested revision: my travel companions Why it matters: Adding 'travel' makes the relationship relevant without changing the claim.
- 11. Choose accurate category Original: arduous Suggested revision: adventure Why it matters: Bungee jumping, trekking, and rafting are more naturally grouped as adventure activities.
- 12. Format the place name Original: the Pahalgam valley Suggested revision: Pahalgam Valley Why it matters: This proper place name requires capitals and does not need the article here.
Suggested Rewrites
- hailing from Chennai from Chennai
- subscribed to a travel insurance package taken out a travel insurance policy
- have been paying for two years have been paying the premiums for two years
- epistle letter
- claim the insurance make a claim under my insurance policy
- a great product a valuable item
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fulfils its purpose effectively by identifying the phone, explaining the river-rafting incident in detail, and making a clear reimbursement request in an appropriately formal tone. The main weakness is a pattern of unnatural or inaccurate word combinations, which sometimes distracts from otherwise clear communication. The highest priority is to use more precise, idiomatic language when describing the loss and stating the desired insurance settlement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are clearly addressed with relevant detail, and the request and formal purpose remain clear throughout.
Make the claim more complete by referring explicitly to the policy and offering supporting documents such as the receipt or claim form.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, although the paragraph-opening linkers are somewhat formulaic.
Use fewer routine sequencing words and let the natural chronology of the incident guide the progression.
Lexical Resource
The response shows good range for describing the phone and incident, but several collocations are inaccurate or overly elaborate.
Use natural claim language such as make a claim, was swept away, buy a replacement, and reimburse the cost.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, while a few passive and prepositional constructions are inaccurate.
Review verb patterns and passive forms, particularly in phrases about the phone being carried away and requesting reimbursement.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
On a recent holiday, you lost a valuable item. Fortunately, you have travel insurance to cover the cost of anything lost. Write a letter to the manager of your insurance company. In your letter:
- Describe the item you lost.
- Explain how you lost it?
- Tell the insurance company what you would like them to do?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.