The manager at the company you work for is going to retire next month. The manager’s assistant has invited some suggestions about what kind of event they should do to say goodbye to him. Write a letter to your manager’s assistant. In your letter: - say what kind of event you have in your mind - mention why you liked him/her as a manager - what kind of present can be given to your manager
Sample Response
Dear Linda,
I am writing in response to your request asking for suggestions about the farewell event you are planning for Mr Smith, who is leaving the organization soon. As he was renowned in his department, it would be a great idea to bid him farewell by organizing a small party and including his colleagues from the department, keeping his preference in mind.
Mr Smith is an inspiration not only to me but also to all our colleagues. I have always adored him for his honesty, work-oriented skills, and dedication to his work. Also, it would be nice to give an elaborate speech about his life and career and the good things he has done for the company.
We should also make some collection by making a small contribution on everyone’s part so that we could buy a nice gift for him. I think a decent executive wristwatch would be perfect for this occasion. Also, we should gift him a moment that he would love to keep with him.
Given all the things Mr Smith has done for us over all these years, let us make this farewell event a memorable one for him as well as for us.
Yours Sincerely,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State retirement clearly Original: leaving the organization soon Suggested revision: retiring next month Why it matters: This wording states the specific reason and timing for the farewell given in the task.
- 2. Use natural praise Original: renowned in his department Suggested revision: highly regarded in his department Why it matters: Highly regarded is a more natural description of a respected manager.
- 3. Choose precise verb Original: including Suggested revision: inviting Why it matters: Inviting accurately describes asking colleagues to attend the party.
- 4. Fix awkward phrase Original: work-oriented skills Suggested revision: professionalism Why it matters: Professionalism expresses this quality naturally and precisely.
- 5. Improve speech description Original: give an elaborate speech Suggested revision: give a heartfelt speech Why it matters: Heartfelt better conveys the appreciative purpose of a farewell speech.
- 6. Fix collocation Original: make some collection Suggested revision: take up a collection Why it matters: Take up a collection is the standard expression for gathering contributions.
- 7. Fix contribution phrase Original: on everyone’s part Suggested revision: from everyone Why it matters: Contributions are collected from people, so this prepositional phrase is required.
- 8. Use intended noun Original: gift him a moment Suggested revision: give him a memento Why it matters: Memento means an object kept as a reminder, whereas moment does not express the intended meaning.
- 9. Fix sign-off case Original: Sincerely Suggested revision: sincerely Why it matters: Sincerely should not be capitalized within this sign-off.
- 10. Develop event details Suggested revision: Add one concrete detail such as the party venue, timing, or planned activity. Why it matters: The event suggestion would be more useful to the assistant with one practical arrangement.
Suggested Rewrites
- leaving the organization soon retiring next month
- renowned in his department highly regarded in his department
- including inviting
- work-oriented skills professionalism
- give an elaborate speech give a heartfelt speech
- make some collection take up a collection
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter is well organised and uses an appropriately respectful tone, with all three requested points addressed through a party proposal, reasons for admiring the manager, and a specific gift. Its main weakness is imprecise wording and a few underdeveloped details, especially around the event and the final reference to a ‘moment.’ Prioritise clearer collocations and explain how the celebration would reflect the manager’s preferences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, the tone is suitable, and all three bullet points are addressed with relevant suggestions.
Develop the party proposal with one or two concrete details showing how it would suit the manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically through distinct paragraphs devoted to the event, the manager’s qualities, and the gift.
Reduce repetitive use of “also” and make the links between supporting details more natural.
Lexical Resource
The letter shows a good range of relevant vocabulary, but several collocations are imprecise or unnatural.
Replace phrases such as “make some collection” and “gift him a moment” with clear, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures is used with generally good control, and errors rarely affect clarity.
Check article, pronoun, and clause choices carefully so that complex sentences remain precise and natural.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
The manager at the company you work for is going to retire next month. The manager’s assistant has invited some suggestions about what kind of event they should do to say goodbye to him. Write a letter to your manager’s assistant. In your letter:
- say what kind of event you have in your mind
- mention why you liked him/her as a manager
- what kind of present can be given to your manager
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.