You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter: - explain where the place was and how you got there? - describe what you saw? - offer to take your friend there?
Sample Response
Dear Sam,
I anticipate that this letter finds you in good health. I’m writing to share some experiences of my latest trip to the Himalayas, and I would say that it was an adventurous holiday with numerous landscapes and diverse weather conditions.
Firstly, it is located in the northern part of India, surrounded by glaciers and dormant volcanoes. It was quite challenging to reach the highest peak as the altitude of the mountains was 5000 meters above sea level. However, we thrived in reaching the highest point. Our journey commenced from Chennai to Srinagar by air, and it was a long-haul flight with a layover in Delhi. After our landing, we booked a cab till Manali and then rode a horse to complete our further trip.
Furthermore, there are astonishing viewpoints at the top of the mountains. The entire hill was covered with natural vegetation of apple trees and rose spectacular gardens. On the way to the Himalayas, we visited an ancient spiritual place, and I was tranquillity after receiving blessings from the divine deity.
In addition, this vacation was one of the most memorable and unique trips I have experienced in my life. When you plan to visit India next year during your summer break, we can go there, and I would be highly obliged to sponsor you for the entire journey.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Best regards,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: some experiences of my latest trip Suggested revision: my experiences from my recent trip Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural when introducing a personal journey.
- 2. Fix word choice Original: numerous landscapes Suggested revision: varied scenery Why it matters: Scenery is the natural uncountable noun for the visual features of a place.
- 3. Clarify the subject Original: Firstly, it is located Suggested revision: Firstly, the Himalayas are located Why it matters: The plural place name needs an explicit plural subject and verb.
- 4. State height clearly Original: altitude of the mountains was 5000 meters above sea level Suggested revision: highest point was 5,000 metres above sea level Why it matters: This wording clearly links the measurement to the point the writer reached.
- 5. Fix verb choice Original: thrived Suggested revision: succeeded Why it matters: Succeed in is the correct expression for managing to reach a destination.
- 6. Use friendly register Original: commenced Suggested revision: began Why it matters: Began suits the informal tone of a letter to a friend more naturally.
- 7. Use concise form Original: After our landing Suggested revision: After landing Why it matters: The gerund form is the idiomatic way to refer to what happened after the flight.
- 8. Fix destination preposition Original: till Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Use to, rather than till, for movement toward a destination.
- 9. Improve travel phrase Original: complete our further trip Suggested revision: complete the rest of our journey Why it matters: This is the natural phrase for the remaining part of a journey.
- 10. Keep past tense Original: there are astonishing viewpoints Suggested revision: there were stunning views Why it matters: The past tense is needed because the writer is describing a completed visit.
- 11. Remove faulty phrasing Original: natural vegetation of apple trees Suggested revision: apple trees Why it matters: Apple trees already name the vegetation, so the longer construction is unnatural.
- 12. Correct word order Original: rose spectacular gardens Suggested revision: spectacular rose gardens Why it matters: The evaluative adjective should come before the noun modifier rose.
Suggested Rewrites
- some experiences of my latest trip my experiences from my recent trip
- numerous landscapes varied scenery
- Firstly, it is located Firstly, the Himalayas are located
- altitude of the mountains was 5000 meters above sea level highest point was 5,000 metres above sea level
- thrived succeeded
- commenced began
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter addresses all three prompts with a clear account of the journey, scenery, and invitation, and its paragraph sequence is easy to follow. Its main limitation is recurring unnatural word choice and an overly formal tone for a friend, which occasionally makes descriptions unclear. The highest-priority improvement is to use simpler, idiomatic expressions that accurately describe the experience and sound natural in a personal letter.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All bullet points are addressed and developed, although the highly formal register is not consistently suitable for a friend.
Use a warmer, more conversational tone while keeping the detailed journey, sights, and offer to return together.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically organised into purposeful paragraphs, though its linking words are somewhat mechanical.
Replace formulaic transitions such as Firstly and Furthermore with more natural connections between the stages of the story.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a reasonably broad vocabulary, but frequent collocation and word-choice problems reduce precision.
Prioritise accurate idiomatic combinations, replacing phrases such as thrived in reaching and I was tranquillity with natural alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentences communicates the message clearly, despite several errors in structure and word form.
Check clause construction and complement forms carefully, especially in sentences describing the scenery and emotional response.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently visited a place that had a strong impact on you. Write a letter to a friend about the place. In your letter:
- explain where the place was and how you got there?
- describe what you saw?
- offer to take your friend there?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.