You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started having some problems, and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the problem - explain how it is affecting your work - write what you want him to do regarding it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to let you know that my last week’s performance was not up to the mark and it’s all because of the office computer I have been using for the past two years.
The computer issued to me is an older version of Microsoft, and it does not support all the applications we are currently working on. Most of the time, it gets stopped while working and gets some error message. If I am in the middle of my work and planning to complete my tasks at the end of the day error occurs, and the system gets restarted automatically. Because of this situation, I cannot focus on my work, and my performance is affected.
So, in this case, I request you to please change my computer to an upgraded version of windows 10.
I will be waiting for your response.
Yours faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct word order Original: my last week’s performance Suggested revision: my performance last week Why it matters: Time expressions normally follow the noun phrase in this context.
- 2. Name the software Original: Microsoft Suggested revision: Windows Why it matters: Microsoft is the company, while Windows is the operating system being described.
- 3. Use active verb Original: gets stopped Suggested revision: stops Why it matters: The computer stops by itself, so the passive construction is incorrect here.
- 4. Use precise verb Original: gets some error message Suggested revision: displays an error message Why it matters: A computer displays an error message rather than getting one.
- 5. Use formal link Original: So, in this case Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: This connector expresses the result more concisely and formally.
- 6. Correct request structure Original: request you to please Suggested revision: request that you Why it matters: The formal pattern is request that someone do something.
- 7. Clarify requested item Original: an upgraded version of windows 10 Suggested revision: a computer running Windows 10 Why it matters: The requested replacement is a computer, and Windows must be capitalized.
- 8. Address the manager Original: Dear Sir or Madam Suggested revision: Dear [Manager’s Name] Why it matters: Addressing a known manager by name makes the workplace letter more appropriately directed.
- 9. Use formal wording Original: let you know Suggested revision: inform you Why it matters: Inform you is more concise and suitable for a letter to a manager.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: not up to the mark Suggested revision: below the expected standard Why it matters: This phrase states the performance problem more precisely in a professional register.
- 11. Clarify the cause Original: it’s all because of Suggested revision: this was due to Why it matters: The revision links the performance issue to the computer more clearly and formally.
- 12. Improve verb choice Original: applications we are currently working on Suggested revision: applications we currently use Why it matters: People use applications rather than work on them in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- my last week’s performance my performance last week
- Microsoft Windows
- gets stopped stops
- gets some error message displays an error message
- So, in this case Therefore
- request you to please request that you
Why this response received Band 6.0
The letter communicates its purpose clearly and gives a relevant account of the computer faults and their effect on work. Its main limitation is that the request is only briefly developed, while awkward wording and recurring sentence-control problems reduce precision and fluency. The highest priority is to explain the requested replacement more specifically and edit complex sentences for accurate structure and punctuation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and all three bullet points are addressed, although the requested solution receives limited detail.
Specify the replacement or repair required and explain why it would resolve the stated application and restarting problems.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a logical problem-effect-request sequence, but some repetition and a poorly controlled long sentence weaken flow.
Break the long sentence about completing tasks and the system restarting into clearly linked, shorter units.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient for the situation, though several imprecise collocations such as an older version of Microsoft reduce naturalness.
Use precise technical phrases such as outdated operating system, freezes unexpectedly, and displays an error message.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and some complex structures convey the message, but agreement, article, punctuation, and sentence-structure errors recur.
Check clause boundaries and articles carefully, especially when describing when an error occurs and what the computer does next.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have been working in a company for the last two years. Recently, your computer in the office has started having some problems, and it is affecting your work performance. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- describe the problem
- explain how it is affecting your work
- write what you want him to do regarding it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.