Write a letter to your manager about a party that you want to organize at the office. In your letter: - say what the party is about. - mention why it is necessary. - explain what you expect from him/her to do.
Sample Response
Dear Mr. Malhotra,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writingwriting this letter to request permission to hold a partyrequest permission for a party we are planning for Friday evening. The party is scheduled to take place in the common area on the ground floor from 6 pm to 9 pm.
Our HR team has recently received an award for completing all tasks on time and achieving all targets. To celebrate this achievement and boostfoster team morale, we believe hosting a party would be beneficial. We would also like to invite youextend an invitation for you to join us forin this celebration. Your guidance and support have been valuable to us, and your presence would make the event even more special.
Furthermore, we kindly request your written permission to useutilize the common area for the party. Your approval in writing is necessary as we need to vacate the area for a few hours.
Thank you for considering our request. We look forward to your favorable response.
Yours sincerelyfaithfully,
Pawan
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is clear, appropriately formal, and efficiently covers the celebration, its value to the team, and the manager's requested permission and attendance. The main weakness is that the final request is slightly repetitive and its explanation about vacating the common area is logically unclear. The highest-priority improvement is to specify exactly what approval or practical support is needed and why the venue must be reserved.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are developed with relevant detail, and the formal tone suits the manager.
Clarify the practical request by explaining that the common area must be reserved rather than saying it needs to be vacated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the event arrangements to its justification and the requested action, with clear paragraph focus.
Combine the two closely related permission statements to make the closing request more concise and avoid repetition.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to a workplace request, with only a slightly awkward use of vacate.
Choose the exact venue-management term, such as reserve or make available, to remove the only notable ambiguity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are varied and consistently well controlled, with accurate punctuation and very few noticeable errors.
Maintain this accuracy while making the final request syntactically leaner and more direct.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to your manager about a party that you want to organize at the office. In your letter:
- say what the party is about.
- mention why it is necessary.
- explain what you expect from him/her to do.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.