You work for an international company and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months - Say how your work could b done while you are away - Ask for his/her help in arranging it
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to you to make a request to transfer me to the head office that is in the UK for 3 months period of time.
As you know, I have been working as a marketing executive in your company for many years. A few days ago, it had been asked from all the employees to attend an international workshop on research methodology. I expressed my desire to attend it, for enhancing my skills, promotional prospect as well as global exposure to life. Besides, I would be able to meet my friend, who lives there.
It is indispensable to inform you that in my absence, my colleague, Mr Rajeev will take over all my responsibilities. He can update people about the new products that our company will launch by uploading them on social sites. Moreover, being a fluent speaker, he is able to attend calls of overseas customers. If any problem persists then we can discuss it over the phone or via email.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a standard salutation Original: Dear Sir/Madam, Suggested revision: Dear Sir or Madam, Why it matters: The expanded salutation is the conventional formal form.
- 2. Use concise formal wording Original: make a request to transfer me Suggested revision: request a transfer Why it matters: The revised phrase is concise and grammatically natural.
- 3. Remove unnecessary wording Original: head office that is in the UK Suggested revision: head office in the UK Why it matters: The shorter phrase communicates the location clearly.
- 4. Match the requested duration Original: 3 months period of time Suggested revision: a six-month period Why it matters: The task requires a six-month placement, while the response requests only three months.
- 5. Use an infinitive of purpose Original: attend it, for enhancing Suggested revision: attend it to enhance Why it matters: The infinitive clearly expresses the purpose of attending the workshop.
- 6. Use the correct collocation Original: promotional prospect Suggested revision: promotion prospects Why it matters: Promotion prospects is the natural phrase for future career advancement.
- 7. Clarify the benefit Original: global exposure to life Suggested revision: international professional experience Why it matters: The revision clearly identifies the work-related benefit of the placement.
- 8. Use an appropriate transition Original: It is indispensable to inform you Suggested revision: I would also like to explain Why it matters: The original phrase is overly forceful and unnatural for introducing the work-cover plan.
- 9. Close the appositive Original: Mr Rajeev will Suggested revision: Mr Rajeev, will Why it matters: A second comma is required after the colleague's name to close the appositive phrase.
- 10. Use a precise verb Original: update people about Suggested revision: promote Why it matters: Promote expresses the intended marketing responsibility more precisely.
- 11. Use the standard term Original: sites Suggested revision: media Why it matters: Social media is the natural term for these online platforms.
- 12. Specify the relevant skill Original: being a fluent speaker Suggested revision: as a fluent English speaker Why it matters: The revision identifies the language ability relevant to overseas customer calls.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Sir/Madam, Dear Sir or Madam,
- make a request to transfer me request a transfer
- head office that is in the UK head office in the UK
- 3 months period of time a six-month period
- attend it, for enhancing attend it to enhance
- promotional prospect promotion prospects
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response is strongest when explaining how a colleague could cover the writer's duties, and the information is arranged in a generally logical formal sequence. However, requesting three months contradicts the required six-month placement, and the letter never directly asks the manager to help arrange it. Prioritize correcting the duration and adding a clear, courteous request for approval and practical assistance before closing the letter properly.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The reasons and work-cover plan are relevant, but the requested duration is wrong and the appeal for the manager's arranging help is not explicitly made.
Request the full six months and add a direct sentence asking the manager to help secure approval and coordinate the transfer.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from the request to reasons and work-cover arrangements, with clear paragraph focus despite some mechanical linking.
Add a short final paragraph containing the request for assistance and a courteous closing to complete the progression.
Lexical Resource
The writer shows some range in workplace vocabulary, but several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, including promotional prospect and global exposure to life.
Choose direct workplace phrasing such as career prospects, international experience, and post product updates on social media.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex forms is attempted and meaning remains clear, but errors in passive construction, articles, prepositions, and phrasing occur repeatedly.
Revise structures such as employees were invited, for a three-month period, and to enhance my skills, then check punctuation around clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work for an international company and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- Explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months
- Say how your work could b done while you are away
- Ask for his/her help in arranging it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.