You have seen an advertisement for a part-time job at a sports centre in your town. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: - explain why you are interested in the job - describe the experience you have - say when you would be able to start
Sample Response
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to apply for the part-time position of reception assistant at Riverside Sports Centre, which was advertised in the Weekly Gazette on 5 June.
The job appeals to me because it combines customer service with sport. I have been a member of the centre for four years, so I already know how busy the reception area gets at the weekend. I am also keen to work in an environment where I can use my language skills.
I have two years of experience in a similar role. At Green Cafe I was responsible for taking bookings, handling payments and dealing with complaints, serving around a hundred customers a day. I also helped to train two new members of staff last year. In addition, I am comfortable using booking software and I speak both Japanese and English.
I am available from 1 July and could work any evening from Monday to Friday, as well as Saturday mornings. I have enclosed my CV and would be happy to attend an interview at any time.
Yours faithfully, Taro Yamada
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise job title Original: position of reception assistant Suggested revision: reception assistant position Why it matters: This is a more concise and natural way to name the role.
- 2. Clarify personal interest Original: customer service with sport Suggested revision: customer service with my interest in sport Why it matters: The revision makes the reason for the job's appeal more explicitly personal.
- 3. Strengthen professional register Original: an environment where I can use Suggested revision: a role in which I can apply Why it matters: This wording is more precise and professional in a job application.
- 4. Use stronger job language Original: comfortable using booking software Suggested revision: proficient in using booking software Why it matters: 'Proficient' describes relevant workplace competence more precisely.
- 5. State availability concisely Original: any evening from Monday to Friday Suggested revision: on any weekday evening Why it matters: This gives the same availability in a more concise form.
- 6. Use courteous phrasing Original: at any time Suggested revision: at your convenience Why it matters: This is a more polished expression of flexibility in a formal application.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: At Green Cafe I was responsible for taking bookings, handling payments and dealing with complaints, serving around a hundred customers a day. Suggested revision: At Green Cafe, I was responsible for taking bookings, handling payments, dealing with complaints and serving around a hundred customers a day. Why it matters: The rewrite adds the introductory comma and makes the list of duties parallel.
- 8. Link experience to role Suggested revision: End the paragraph by stating how these customer-service duties prepare you for reception work at the sports centre. Why it matters: An explicit link would make the relevance of the experience even clearer to the manager.
Suggested Rewrites
- position of reception assistant reception assistant position
- customer service with sport customer service with my interest in sport
- an environment where I can use a role in which I can apply
- comfortable using booking software proficient in using booking software
- any evening from Monday to Friday on any weekday evening
- at any time at your convenience
Why this response received Band 8.5
This is a highly effective application letter: it addresses every requested point directly, supports the claims with specific experience, and maintains a concise, appropriately formal tone throughout. The main opportunity is a small one—the bilingual and staff-training experience could be linked even more explicitly to the sports centre’s reception needs. Making that connection would further strengthen an already persuasive application.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The application fully satisfies the purpose and develops all three bullet points with specific, persuasive, and consistently appropriate detail.
As a final refinement, connect the language and training experience directly to the manager’s likely reception needs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear function, ideas progress naturally, and cohesive devices guide the reader without drawing attention to themselves.
Preserve this concise structure while making the link between qualifications and workplace benefits even more explicit.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise, flexible, and well matched to a formal job application, with natural language for duties, availability, and customer service.
Add one carefully chosen phrase showing how the applicant’s bilingual ability would benefit centre members.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex and simple structures is used accurately and naturally throughout the letter.
Continue using this level of control while varying sentence openings slightly in future formal letters.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have seen an advertisement for a part-time job at a sports centre in your town. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter:
- explain why you are interested in the job
- describe the experience you have
- say when you would be able to start
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.