You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. Write a letter to the council. In your letter: - say how you heard about the plan - explain how you feel about it - ask for more information about it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of Boundary Road and I have recently read in the local newspaper that a shopping centre is going to be built near where I live. This news was rather a surprise to me. I have been living in Boundary Road for five years now and it has always been a very quiet street with very few tall buildings. I think a construction like this will change the atmosphere of the area considerably and, like many other residents I have spoken to, I am not at all happy about it. I think people who live in the area have a right to know more about the plan before it goes ahead, so I would like to request further details regarding the dates of the planned building work and the size of the centre. Also, I sincerely hope you are planning to provide a car park, as otherwise parking will become very difficult for everyone in the area. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, John Carlson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use simpler past tense Original: I have recently read in the local newspaper Suggested revision: I recently read in the local newspaper Why it matters: The simple past is more direct for describing the specific occasion when you learned about the plan.
- 2. Make location concise Original: near where I live Suggested revision: near my home Why it matters: This expresses the same location more concisely and naturally.
- 3. Choose precise noun Original: construction Suggested revision: development Why it matters: Development is the more precise noun for the proposed shopping-centre project.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: people who live in the area Suggested revision: local residents Why it matters: This formal phrase is more concise and suits a letter to the council.
- 5. Clarify the reference Original: before it goes ahead Suggested revision: before the development proceeds Why it matters: Naming the development makes the reference clearer in this long sentence.
- 6. Request specific dates Original: the dates of the planned building work Suggested revision: the planned start and completion dates of the building work Why it matters: This specifies which dates you want the council to provide.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: This news was rather a surprise to me. Suggested revision: This news came as rather a surprise to me. Why it matters: The revised version uses the more natural collocation came as a surprise.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: Also, I sincerely hope you are planning to provide a car park, as otherwise parking will become very difficult for everyone in the area. Suggested revision: Could you also confirm whether the plans include a car park, as otherwise parking will become very difficult for everyone in the area? Why it matters: Turning this into a direct question strengthens the requested-information part of the letter.
- 9. Separate letter sections Suggested revision: Divide the letter into an opening, a paragraph explaining your concern, a paragraph requesting details, and a separate closing. Why it matters: Clear paragraphing would make the purpose and each stage of the letter easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- I have recently read in the local newspaper I recently read in the local newspaper
- near where I live near my home
- construction development
- people who live in the area local residents
- before it goes ahead before the development proceeds
- the dates of the planned building work the planned start and completion dates of the building work
Why this response received Band 8.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its complete, purposeful coverage: it clearly identifies the news source, explains the writer’s concerns, and requests specific information in an appropriately formal tone. Its main limitation is presentation, as all the content is compressed into one long paragraph despite the logical progression. The highest-priority improvement is to separate the context, concerns, and requests into clear functional paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully achieves its purpose, covers all three bullet points with relevant detail, and maintains an appropriately formal tone.
Make the request even more actionable by asking when and how residents can submit comments on the proposal.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from the source of the news to the writer’s concerns and requests, with cohesive links used naturally.
Separate the context, concerns, and information requests into distinct paragraphs to make the letter easier to navigate.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to a formal complaint and information request, with only a slightly awkward phrase.
Replace “a construction like this” with a more natural expression such as “a development of this kind.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex sentence structures is handled accurately, with secure punctuation and agreement throughout.
For even greater clarity, shorten the longest sentence about the building dates, centre size, and parking provision.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. Write a letter to the council. In your letter:
- say how you heard about the plan
- explain how you feel about it
- ask for more information about it
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.