You are interested in applying for a new position at your company but have some questions. Write a letter to you boss. In your letter include: - Which position you are considering - What questions you have about it - How your boss can help you decide - whether or not to apply
Sample Response
Dear John,
I am writing to inform you of my desire to apply for the position of assistant to the regional manager and ask your advice as to my suitability for this role. The job opening was advertised in a recent company-wide memo and would involve working for Ted Johnson, who holds your equivalent position in the Lynn district.
I have several questions. Firstly, will you be willing to recommend me for this position if I choose to apply? Secondly, what are the primary role requirements for such an assistant? Finally, would it be possible to keep my current job if my application is unsuccessful?
I would also like to ask for your thoughts before submitting a final application. I’ve been working directly under you for 3 years so you can best assess my abilities. You could greatly help me by being direct and honest as to my potential and whether or not I am pursuing a viable career path.
Thank you for taking the time.
Best Regards,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the comparison Original: your equivalent position Suggested revision: a position equivalent to yours Why it matters: The replacement expresses the comparison more naturally and precisely.
- 2. Make the request polite Original: will Suggested revision: would Why it matters: “Would” makes this request to a manager appropriately polite.
- 3. Use a natural phrase Original: primary role requirements Suggested revision: main requirements of the role Why it matters: This is a more natural way to ask about the position’s requirements.
- 4. Avoid an unclear modifier Original: submitting a final application Suggested revision: submitting my application Why it matters: “My application” is clearer because no earlier or preliminary application is mentioned.
- 5. Use formal number style Original: 3 Suggested revision: three Why it matters: Spelling out this small number suits the formal tone of the letter.
- 6. Use a natural preposition Original: as to my potential Suggested revision: about my potential Why it matters: “About” is more natural after “direct and honest” in this context.
- 7. Correct closing capitalization Original: Regards Suggested revision: regards Why it matters: Only the first word of this standard closing is capitalized.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I am writing to inform you of my desire to apply for the position of assistant to the regional manager and ask your advice as to my suitability for this role. Suggested revision: I am writing to express my interest in the position of assistant to the regional manager and to ask for your advice on my suitability for the role. Why it matters: The rewrite states the purpose more naturally and fixes the collocation with “advice.”
Suggested Rewrites
- your equivalent position a position equivalent to yours
- will would
- primary role requirements main requirements of the role
- submitting a final application submitting my application
- 3 three
- as to my potential about my potential
Why this response received Band 8.0
This is a concise, professional letter that clearly identifies the position, asks focused questions, and explains exactly how the manager's advice could guide the decision. The main limitation is that a few expressions and punctuation choices are slightly less natural than the otherwise polished language; the priority is a final edit for idiomatic phrasing and precise punctuation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully addresses every requested point with a clear purpose, relevant detail, and an appropriately professional tone.
Make the decision point even more explicit by briefly stating which factors would ultimately determine whether the writer applies.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically sequenced in focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the reader naturally through the request.
Add a slightly smoother link between the questions and the request for personal advice to strengthen continuity further.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to a workplace application, with only isolated slightly awkward phrasing.
Refine expressions such as 'holds your equivalent position' to the more natural 'holds a position equivalent to yours'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only minor punctuation or formality lapses.
Add the missing comma after the introductory dependent clause following '3 years' and review capitalisation in the closing.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are interested in applying for a new position at your company but have some questions. Write a letter to you boss. In your letter include:
- Which position you are considering
- What questions you have about it
- How your boss can help you decide
- whether or not to apply
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.