You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can move in
Sample Response
Dear Miss Berry, As you know, I have rented 41 George Roche Road from you for six months from 15th August. However, I am afraid I will no longer be able to move in on that date, as my plans have had to change because of illness. During the summer vacation, I was working in a company as a Project Manager. Towards the end of my shift, I slipped and fell on a wet floor and broke my wrist. Luckily, it was a clean break and didn't require surgery. However, it is my right wrist, and so I am unable to write for the time being. At present, I am at home in Kuala Lumpur until the plaster can be taken off – I think this should be in the last week of September. I will then return to my course in Canterbury and take up residence at 41 George Roche Road. I hope this will not cause you any difficulties. Yours sincerely, Rachel Yu
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid repeated wording Original: from you for six months from 15th August Suggested revision: from you for six months, starting on 15 August Why it matters: This revision removes the awkward repetition of ‘from’ and states the tenancy start date more clearly.
- 2. Name the cause accurately Original: because of illness Suggested revision: because of an injury Why it matters: The response later describes a broken wrist, so ‘injury’ is the accurate word.
- 3. Use natural preposition Original: in Suggested revision: for Why it matters: ‘Work for a company’ is the more natural collocation when identifying an employer.
- 4. Use lowercase job title Original: Project Manager Suggested revision: project manager Why it matters: A general job title is normally lowercase when it does not precede a person’s name.
- 5. Keep the tone formal Original: didn't Suggested revision: did not Why it matters: The uncontracted form better suits this polite letter to a property provider.
- 6. Use precise medical wording Original: the plaster can be taken off Suggested revision: the plaster cast can be removed Why it matters: ‘Plaster cast’ and ‘removed’ make the intended meaning more precise.
- 7. Organise the letter Suggested revision: Separate the opening, injury explanation, revised arrival date, and closing into clear paragraphs. Why it matters: Distinct paragraphs would make the sequence of purpose, problem, and revised plan easier to follow.
- 8. Make the request explicit Suggested revision: Directly ask whether the tenancy can begin in the last week of September and request confirmation. Why it matters: The letter explains the delay but does not clearly ask the recipient to approve the new move-in date.
Suggested Rewrites
- from you for six months from 15th August from you for six months, starting on 15 August
- because of illness because of an injury
- in for
- Project Manager project manager
- didn't did not
- the plaster can be taken off the plaster cast can be removed
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter communicates the delayed move clearly, addresses every requested point, and uses precise, natural language with a suitably courteous tone. Its main limitation is that the whole response is presented as one block, so the highest-priority improvement is to separate the situation, injury details, and revised moving date into purposeful paragraphs for easier reading.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the courteous register suits the recipient.
Clarify more directly why the wrist injury prevents the planned move so the reason for the delay is completely explicit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information follows a logical chronological sequence and connections between the injury, recovery, and revised move are easy to follow.
Divide the body into clear paragraphs for the changed situation, the injury, and the new moving arrangements.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise, with natural choices such as 'clean break,' 'plaster,' and 'take up residence.'
Replace the slightly broad reference to 'illness' with a more exact reference to the injury for sharper consistency.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of simple and complex sentence structures is used accurately, with strong control of tense and punctuation.
Maintain this control while varying a few sentence openings to make the prose even more fluid.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the course provider. In your letter:
- explain your situation
- describe your problems
- tell him/her when you think you can move in
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.