You would like to rent a commercial space for a shop you want to start in a newly built shopping complex. You have decided to write to the market authority about it. Write a letter to the market authority. In your letter: - inform what type of space you want to rent - say what type of shop you are planning to start - ask for the availability and cost of the shop
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is Khoi Vinh, and I am writing this letter to enquire about the possibility of renting a commercial space in your shopping mallthe very beautiful shopping mall of yours located on the main street downtownat the downtown main street that was recently builthas just recently been built.
I am planning to open a shop for children’s toys in your shopping complex which would require a large space, probably as large as 3,000 square feet, and it would need to beand that too has to be in a prime locationat a prime spot of your shopping complex. And when I say “prime spot”, I mean thatI mean to suggest that the shop has to be located in such a position that it can be clearly visiblevery easily visible and accessible from all directions. FurthermoreBy the way, I would need such a large space because I am also planning to set up a little playground for children in it.
So, I would like to know if you could provide me with some information about the availability of such a commercial spacesuch commercial space that meets my requirementsfor me as per my requirements. I would also appreciate it very much if you could possibly quote me a price to rent such a shop at your shopping centre.
I would like to hear from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
Khoi Vinh
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter fully addresses the requested space, proposed toy shop, and enquiries about availability and rent, with especially useful detail about size, location, and the planned play area. Its main limitation is that some phrasing is wordy or conversational for a formal request, which slightly weakens fluency and precision. The priority is to tighten repetitive sentences and replace expressions such as by the way with more businesslike transitions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully covered with a clear purpose and relevant supporting detail, while the tone remains broadly suitable for the market authority.
Maintain a consistently formal register by removing conversational asides when explaining the space requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organised into purposeful paragraphs and follows a logical sequence, though repetition and a few conversational linkers slightly interrupt the flow.
Condense repeated references to the shopping complex and use more formal transitions between the size, location, and playground details.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficiently wide range of vocabulary for commercial property and shop requirements, but several expressions are awkward or unnecessarily elaborate.
Prefer concise, precise phrases such as a prominent location, a rental quotation, and the newly built downtown shopping centre.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is handled with good overall control, although some long clauses and relative constructions are cumbersome.
Break the opening sentence into two and streamline relative clauses so each request is expressed more cleanly.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like to rent a commercial space for a shop you want to start in a newly built shopping complex. You have decided to write to the market authority about it. Write a letter to the market authority. In your letter:
- inform what type of space you want to rent
- say what type of shop you are planning to start
- ask for the availability and cost of the shop
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.