You live in a room in the college hostel which has serve problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super’s permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter: - Introduce yourself - Describe your problems - Explain what type of room you would prefer
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to make a request to transfer me into another room in your college hostel due to some problems.
I have been pursuing graduation in your ‘Trinity College’. A room, on the ground floor, has been allotted to me. I had been sharing it with another student.
Let me explain to you the problems that I am confronting while living in that room. The door bolt had been broken and suffice to say that water facility is available but poor drainage system makes it hard to live in it. Besides, there is no separate almirah for each candidate as one cannot blame the other if anything gets stolen.
Would you be kind enough to transfer me into another room? I don’t mind having it on any other floor; but, it must be safe to keep things, while I would be attending classes and this is possible if a separate almirah is provided with a lock. Moreover, good drainage would not create a foul smell. If it is not shared. It would be icing on the cake as I am very laborious and preparing for competitive exams.
I hope you would look into the matter and try to resolve it within a week before the first term exams.
Looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Yours Faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural request wording Original: make a request to transfer me Suggested revision: request a transfer Why it matters: This is the natural formal expression for asking to move rooms.
- 2. Use natural study phrase Original: pursuing graduation Suggested revision: studying for my degree Why it matters: The original collocation is not natural English.
- 3. Correct college preposition Original: in your ‘Trinity College’ Suggested revision: at Trinity College Why it matters: Use “at” for studying at an institution and omit unnecessary quotation marks.
- 4. Use present tense Original: I had been sharing it Suggested revision: I share it Why it matters: The room-sharing situation is current, so the present simple is appropriate.
- 5. Choose natural collocation Original: problems that I am confronting Suggested revision: problems I am experiencing Why it matters: “Experiencing problems” is more natural in this context.
- 6. Clarify room location Original: having it on any other floor Suggested revision: being on another floor Why it matters: The revised gerund phrase refers clearly to the room’s location.
- 7. Make storage meaning precise Original: safe to keep things Suggested revision: secure enough for me to store my belongings Why it matters: The revision states clearly that the writer needs secure storage.
- 8. Use current time form Original: while I would be attending classes Suggested revision: while I am attending classes Why it matters: The present continuous fits the anticipated routine without an unnecessary conditional.
- 9. Separate the explanation Original: and this is possible if Suggested revision: . This would be possible if Why it matters: Starting a new sentence makes the connection between security and the lock clearer.
- 10. Use widely understood term Original: a separate almirah Suggested revision: a personal wardrobe Why it matters: “Wardrobe” is more widely understood in an international formal letter.
- 11. Express prevention clearly Original: good drainage would not create a foul smell Suggested revision: good drainage would prevent foul smells Why it matters: Effective drainage prevents smells rather than merely failing to create one.
- 12. Clarify the reference Original: resolve it Suggested revision: resolve these problems Why it matters: The plural noun makes the reference to the several room problems explicit.
Suggested Rewrites
- make a request to transfer me request a transfer
- pursuing graduation studying for my degree
- in your ‘Trinity College’ at Trinity College
- I had been sharing it I share it
- problems that I am confronting problems I am experiencing
- having it on any other floor being on another floor
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter has a clear purpose, covers all three requested points, and gives useful detail about the current problems and preferred replacement room. Its main limitation is uneven language control: several awkward word choices, grammatical slips, and a sentence fragment reduce clarity and formality. The priority is to express each problem and preference in direct, complete sentences with accurate articles and natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all bullet points are addressed, and the requested move is supported with relevant detail in a suitably formal tone.
Remove the less relevant comment about competitive exams and state the preferred room arrangements more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is organised into purposeful paragraphs and generally progresses logically from introduction to problems and preferences.
Improve links within the longer paragraphs and integrate the fragment about a non-shared room into a complete sentence.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a sufficient range for accommodation problems, although several choices such as candidate, laborious, and water facility are unnatural.
Use more precise collocations such as resident, hardworking, reliable water supply, and secure storage.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the message, but article, tense, punctuation, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Check articles and verb forms, and rewrite fragments and loosely joined clauses as complete, accurately punctuated sentences.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You live in a room in the college hostel which has serve problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super’s permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter:
- Introduce yourself
- Describe your problems
- Explain what type of room you would prefer
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.