You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. Write to the family. In your letter: - describe the things you left behind - ask the family to send the items to you - offer to cover the cost
Sample Response
Dear Mr and Mrs Griffin, Hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit. You will be glad to know that I have arrived home safely, but please also know that you will always be in my thoughts and prayer for the kindness and great hospitality you have shown to me during my stay at your home. Anyway, if it is not too much of a trouble for you, I would like to ask for a favour from you, and which is to return a small bag of mine which I have accidentally left at your home before leaving Australia. This small bag is really important for me since it contains some valuable possessions, such as some important documents, a couple of gift items which you bought for me, a few beautiful souvenirs, and some beautiful pictures of my visits to different parts of Australia. Please look for this bag on the top shelf of the wardrobe in the room, where I used to sleep and send it to me in a courier mail. I will send a money order to you to cover the courier cost as soon as I receive the bag. Yours sincerely, Nitesh Chauhan
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Complete the opening sentence Original: Hope this letter finds you Suggested revision: I hope this letter finds you Why it matters: The clause needs an explicit subject to form a complete sentence.
- 2. Use the standard expression Original: good health and spirit Suggested revision: good health and high spirits Why it matters: High spirits is the natural expression for a positive emotional state.
- 3. Use the plural noun Original: prayer Suggested revision: prayers Why it matters: The coordinated expression conventionally uses both nouns in the plural.
- 4. Remove the extra preposition Original: shown to me Suggested revision: shown me Why it matters: Show someone hospitality does not require to before the recipient.
- 5. Remove the unnecessary article Original: too much of a trouble Suggested revision: too much trouble Why it matters: Trouble is uncountable in this expression and does not take a.
- 6. Use simple past Original: which I have accidentally left Suggested revision: which I accidentally left Why it matters: The bag was left during a completed past stay, so the simple past is appropriate.
- 7. Use the correct preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Important to someone expresses personal value, whereas important for usually concerns benefit or purpose.
- 8. Use the courier collocation Original: in a courier mail Suggested revision: by courier Why it matters: By courier is the standard way to describe this delivery method.
- 9. Avoid assuming their reaction Original: You will be glad to know Suggested revision: I am glad to tell you Why it matters: The replacement shares the good news without presuming how the recipients feel.
- 10. Use natural personal wording Original: please also know Suggested revision: I also want you to know Why it matters: The replacement expresses the writer's feeling more naturally in a personal letter.
- 11. Use a stronger collocation Original: great Suggested revision: generous Why it matters: Generous hospitality is a more precise collocation for the family's kindness.
- 12. Use concise host wording Original: during my stay at your home Suggested revision: during my stay with you Why it matters: Stay with you naturally describes living as the family's guest.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hope this letter finds you I hope this letter finds you
- good health and spirit good health and high spirits
- prayer prayers
- shown to me shown me
- too much of a trouble too much trouble
- which I have accidentally left which I accidentally left
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly identifies the bag, lists its contents, gives its location, requests delivery and offers to cover the courier charge, all in a warm and appreciative tone. The main weakness is sentence control and presentation: several clauses are overextended, the whole response lacks paragraph breaks, and phrases such as "in a courier mail" are unnatural. Organise the three practical points into separate paragraphs and simplify the request and payment arrangements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully addressed with specific details, and the appreciative tone suits the host family well.
Clarify that you will reimburse the family immediately for postage rather than only after the bag arrives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message progresses from thanks to the request, contents, location and payment, but the single dense paragraph weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the opening thanks, the bag and its contents, and the delivery and reimbursement request.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and suitably warm, though repeated adjectives and phrases such as "in a courier mail" reduce naturalness.
Use concise expressions such as "send it by courier" and vary or remove repeated words such as "beautiful" and "important."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex structures communicate the message clearly, but several long sentences contain awkward clause links, articles and noun forms.
Write "if it is not too much trouble" and remove the faulty link in "a favour from you, which is to return my bag."
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. Write to the family. In your letter:
- describe the things you left behind
- ask the family to send the items to you
- offer to cover the cost
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.