You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. Write to the family. In your letter: - describe the things you left behind - ask the family to send the items to you - offer to cover the cost

Same questionCompare 2 different answers (Band 7)

Sample Response

1

Dear Mr and Mrs Griffin, I hope this letter finds youHope this letter finds you in good health and high spiritsgood health and spirit. I am glad to tell youYou will be glad to know that I have arrived home safely, but I also want you to knowplease also know that you will always be in my thoughts and prayersprayer for the kindness and generousgreat hospitality you have shown meshown to me during my stay with youduring my stay at your home. IfAnyway, if it is not too much troubletoo much of a trouble for you, I would like to ask for a favour from you, and which is to return a small bag of mine which I accidentally leftwhich I have accidentally left at your home before I left Australiabefore leaving Australia. This small bag is really important tofor me since it contains some valuable possessions, such as some important documents, a couple of gifts you bought for megift items which you bought for me, a few beautiful souvenirs, and photographs from my visitssome beautiful pictures of my visits to different parts of Australia. Please look for this bag on the top shelf of the wardrobe in the room, where I used to sleep and send it to me by courierin a courier mail. I will send a money order to you to cover the courier cost as soon as I receive the bag. Yours sincerely, Nitesh Chauhan

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The letter clearly identifies the bag, lists its contents, gives its location, requests delivery and offers to cover the courier charge, all in a warm and appreciative tone. The main weakness is sentence control and presentation: several clauses are overextended, the whole response lacks paragraph breaks, and phrases such as "in a courier mail" are unnatural. Organise the three practical points into separate paragraphs and simplify the request and payment arrangements.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

All three bullet points are fully addressed with specific details, and the appreciative tone suits the host family well.

Next step

Clarify that you will reimburse the family immediately for postage rather than only after the bag arrives.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The message progresses from thanks to the request, contents, location and payment, but the single dense paragraph weakens organisation.

Next step

Use separate paragraphs for the opening thanks, the bag and its contents, and the delivery and reimbursement request.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The vocabulary is varied and suitably warm, though repeated adjectives and phrases such as "in a courier mail" reduce naturalness.

Next step

Use concise expressions such as "send it by courier" and vary or remove repeated words such as "beautiful" and "important."

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.5
Scoring rule

Complex structures communicate the message clearly, but several long sentences contain awkward clause links, articles and noun forms.

Next step

Write "if it is not too much trouble" and remove the faulty link in "a favour from you, which is to return my bag."

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. Write to the family. In your letter:

- describe the things you left behind

- ask the family to send the items to you

- offer to cover the cost

Your response

Words0
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