You want to book a hotel that one of your friends recommended to you for a family holiday at the seaside. Write a letter to the hotel manager to make arrangements. In your letter: - explain what accommodation you require and when you want to stay - ask what will be included in the price - enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel
Sample Response
Dear Manager,
I am writing this letter to enquire about booking rooms at your hotel for a family of twelve members, including four children. One of my friends who stayed in your hotel last month had a really good stay and memorable experience and shared the good reviews with us, especially about the quality of the services offered and excellent hospitality with co-operative staff members. We are expecting to book four air conditioner semi-deluxe rooms that can comfortably accommodate me and the three couples and preferably with the best seaside view. We plan to visit on 15th October and will likely stay till 17th October.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix parallel description Original: had a really good stay and memorable experience Suggested revision: had a really good and memorable stay Why it matters: The adjectives should modify the same noun in a parallel structure.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: shared the good reviews with us Suggested revision: spoke highly of the hotel to us Why it matters: This expression more naturally conveys the friend's favourable recommendation.
- 3. Correct the noun structure Original: services offered and excellent hospitality with co-operative staff members Suggested revision: services and the excellent hospitality of the helpful staff Why it matters: The revision makes the coordinated noun phrases grammatical and clear.
- 4. Use adjective form Original: air conditioner semi-deluxe rooms Suggested revision: air-conditioned semi-deluxe rooms Why it matters: 'Air-conditioned' is the adjective needed to describe the rooms.
- 5. Resolve guest-count mismatch Original: accommodate me and the three couples Suggested revision: accommodate all twelve of us Why it matters: The original phrase accounts for only seven people despite the stated group of twelve.
- 6. Attach the preference Original: and preferably with the best seaside view Suggested revision: and have a good seaside view Why it matters: The revision completes the relative clause describing what the rooms should provide.
- 7. State the arrival Original: visit Suggested revision: arrive Why it matters: 'Arrive' states the start of the requested hotel stay more precisely.
- 8. Use formal wording Original: till Suggested revision: until Why it matters: 'Until' is slightly more appropriate for this formal booking request.
- 9. Ask about the price Suggested revision: Add a direct question asking what the quoted room price includes, such as meals, taxes, or hotel facilities. Why it matters: The response does not address the required bullet point about what is included in the price.
- 10. Ask about local activities Suggested revision: Add a direct enquiry about family activities and nearby places of interest. Why it matters: The response omits the required enquiry about activities and attractions near the hotel.
Suggested Rewrites
- had a really good stay and memorable experience had a really good and memorable stay
- shared the good reviews with us spoke highly of the hotel to us
- services offered and excellent hospitality with co-operative staff members services and the excellent hospitality of the helpful staff
- air conditioner semi-deluxe rooms air-conditioned semi-deluxe rooms
- accommodate me and the three couples accommodate all twelve of us
- and preferably with the best seaside view and have a good seaside view
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response clearly explains the proposed dates and room requirements, using a suitably formal tone and some effective descriptive language. However, it is substantially under length, omits the questions about what the price includes and nearby activities or attractions, and ends before completing the letter. The priority is to add fully developed paragraphs for both missing bullet points and finish with an appropriate request and sign-off.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The accommodation and dates are developed, but two required bullet points are completely omitted and the response is well under length.
Ask what the quoted price includes and request information about nearby activities and places of interest before closing the letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
The existing details follow a clear sequence, but one dense paragraph and the abrupt ending leave the response poorly shaped as a complete letter.
Organise the response into separate paragraphs for accommodation, price inclusions, and local attractions, followed by a closing.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary and some variety, although phrases such as ‘shared the good reviews’ and ‘air conditioner rooms’ are inaccurate.
Improve collocational accuracy by using natural phrases such as ‘recommended the hotel’ and ‘air-conditioned rooms’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses several complex structures with generally clear meaning, despite awkward coordination and occasional word-form or article errors.
Break the longest sentence into controlled units and check noun forms, articles, and modifiers for accuracy.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to book a hotel that one of your friends recommended to you for a family holiday at the seaside. Write a letter to the hotel manager to make arrangements. In your letter:
- explain what accommodation you require and when you want to stay
- ask what will be included in the price
- enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.