You want to sell your mobile phone. You think a friend of yours might like to to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - Explain why you are selling the phone - Describe the phone - Suggest a mode of payment to your friend
Sample Response
Dear Hamaad!I hope you are doing really well and having a very good health. I too, feeling good and happy. Actually,I want to inform you that recently I made a decision to sell my cellphone and once you mentioned that you are interested in purchasing it, that's why I thought that I should ask you if you are willing to buy it. If are going to purchase it, it will be better for you because it is really useful and unique in its features. Moreover,as you were telling that you have to do online work on you phone then it will be really helpful for you.Furthermore,You can pay me in installments or in any way which you find better.I am waiting for your reply, inform me as soon as possible if you are willing to buy it.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a comma Original: Hamaad! Suggested revision: Hamaad, Why it matters: An informal letter salutation conventionally ends with a comma rather than an exclamation mark.
- 2. Correct health phrase Original: having a very good health Suggested revision: in very good health Why it matters: The fixed expression is ‘in very good health’ and does not take an article.
- 3. Add the subject Original: If are going to purchase it Suggested revision: If you decide to buy it Why it matters: The conditional clause needs a subject and a complete verb phrase.
- 4. Clarify the benefit Original: it will be better for you Suggested revision: it would suit you well Why it matters: This wording states the phone’s suitability more naturally and precisely.
- 5. Use natural wording Original: unique in its features Suggested revision: equipped with useful features Why it matters: The original phrase is an unnatural collocation and does not clearly describe the phone.
- 6. Fix reporting structure Original: as you were telling that Suggested revision: as you mentioned Why it matters: ‘Tell’ requires an object here, whereas ‘mention’ works directly with the following clause.
- 7. Use concise wording Original: you have to do online work Suggested revision: you need to work online Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more naturally and concisely.
- 8. Correct possessive Original: you Suggested revision: your Why it matters: The possessive determiner ‘your’ is required before ‘phone’.
- 9. Match the condition Original: then it will be really helpful for you Suggested revision: it would be very useful for you Why it matters: ‘Would’ correctly matches the conditional context introduced earlier.
- 10. Signal payment clearly Original: Furthermore,You Suggested revision: As for payment, you Why it matters: This transition directly introduces the payment bullet point and maintains normal capitalization.
- 11. Specify payment terms Original: in installments or in any way which you find better Suggested revision: in monthly installments, or by another method that suits you Why it matters: A specific installment schedule develops the requested payment suggestion more clearly.
- 12. Use a natural closing Original: I am waiting for your reply Suggested revision: I look forward to hearing from you Why it matters: This is a more natural closing expression for a friendly letter.
Suggested Rewrites
- Hamaad! Hamaad,
- having a very good health in very good health
- If are going to purchase it If you decide to buy it
- it will be better for you it would suit you well
- unique in its features equipped with useful features
- as you were telling that as you mentioned
Why this response received Band 5.0
The letter establishes a friendly purpose and offers a workable payment option, but it never explains why the phone is being sold and gives almost no concrete description of the device. Frequent sentence-structure and punctuation errors also weaken clarity, while the response is slightly under length. Prioritise covering every bullet with specific details—especially the reason for selling and key phone features—then proofread complete sentences and spacing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear and instalments are suggested, but the reason for selling is omitted and the phone description remains vague.
Add a specific reason for the sale and describe concrete features, condition, and value of the phone.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a broadly understandable sequence, but it is presented as one block and its connectors are mechanical.
Separate the opening, phone details, payment arrangement, and closing into clear stages with accurate punctuation.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary communicates the basic offer, though it is repetitive and includes several awkward or imprecise combinations.
Use specific phone vocabulary and natural phrases for its condition, features, usefulness, and payment terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent errors in sentence construction, articles, pronouns, capitalization, and punctuation weaken control, although the main meaning remains accessible.
Proofread for complete clauses, correct subjects and verb forms, and spaces after punctuation before adding complex structures.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You want to sell your mobile phone. You think a friend of yours might like to to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- Explain why you are selling the phone
- Describe the phone
- Suggest a mode of payment to your friend
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.