Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter: - give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre - explain why the sports and leisure centre is important for the local community - describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a resident of the Alperton, London area, writing to request you to reconsider your decision to close the sport and leisure centre we have in our community. I am hoping that you would weigh the utility of this centre before shutting it down. As you know, we have more than 8 thousand members in our community and only two such leisure and sporting centres. When we are expecting another recreational centre for the benefit of the community members, the decision to shut down the 'Innercircle Sports & Leisure Centre' was some shocking news for us. I and my father go to this place to do our daily exercise. Besides, I have noticed many children play there in the evening and local people spend a significant amount of time there. Many teenagers have chosen this place to play some indoor games and spend quality time. If this place is closed, people would feel dejected and I personally worry that the teenagers who use this centre would get involved in subversive activities. This is not at all accepted. If cutting the cost is the only reason to close this centre, I am sure there are alternatives. I have talked to several other members and all of them are against closing this place. Please do reconsider your decision for the betterment of our community. Yours faithfully, Patrick Stuart
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove unnecessary article Original: the Alperton, London area Suggested revision: Alperton, London Why it matters: Place names normally do not take the definite article in this structure.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: weigh the utility of this centre Suggested revision: consider the value of this centre Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the centre's community value more naturally.
- 3. Correct pronoun order Original: I and my father Suggested revision: My father and I Why it matters: Use the subject pronoun after naming the other person first.
- 4. Use precise reference Original: go to this place Suggested revision: use this centre Why it matters: This wording refers to the facility more directly and precisely.
- 5. Choose suitable wording Original: subversive Suggested revision: antisocial Why it matters: This term more appropriately describes the feared local behaviour.
- 6. Correct cost collocation Original: cutting the cost Suggested revision: reducing costs Why it matters: The standard collocation for lowering expenditure is 'reducing costs'.
- 7. Use concise phrasing Original: betterment Suggested revision: benefit Why it matters: This is a more natural formal expression in a council letter.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: When we are expecting another recreational centre for the benefit of the community members, the decision to shut down the 'Innercircle Sports & Leisure Centre' was some shocking news for us. Suggested revision: As we had been hoping for another recreational centre, the decision to close the 'Innercircle Sports & Leisure Centre' came as a shock to us. Why it matters: The rewrite fixes the inconsistent time relationship and unnatural predicate.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: This is not at all accepted. Suggested revision: This outcome would be unacceptable. Why it matters: An adjective is required to describe the hypothetical outcome.
- 10. Separate key functions Suggested revision: Organise the letter body into separate paragraphs covering current use, community importance, and likely effects of closure. Why it matters: The single-block format obscures the progression through the three requested points.
Suggested Rewrites
- the Alperton, London area Alperton, London
- weigh the utility of this centre consider the value of this centre
- I and my father My father and I
- go to this place use this centre
- subversive antisocial
- cutting the cost reducing costs
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter addresses the council directly, covers every requested point with relevant community examples, and maintains a suitably formal, persuasive purpose. Its main limitation is that the entire response is presented as one block, while several unnatural expressions weaken precision. Divide the ideas into clear paragraphs and replace awkward collocations with more natural formal wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the effects of closure are developed with relevant examples.
Develop the proposed cost-saving alternatives more concretely to make the request even more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from the request to the centre's use, community value, and likely effects, but the single-block presentation weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the purpose, current uses, community importance, and consequences of closure.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible range, including terms such as recreational, dejected, and betterment, conveys the message effectively despite some awkward collocations.
Replace phrases such as was some shocking news and this is not at all accepted with natural formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is generally controlled, and the few grammatical errors do not impede communication.
Refine article use, word order, and subject forms, especially in phrases such as a resident of the Alperton and I and my father.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Your local council is considering closing a sports and leisure centre that it runs, in order to save money. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter:
- give details of how you and your friends or family use the centre
- explain why the sports and leisure centre is important for the local community
- describe the possible effects on local people if the centre closes
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.