You would like a job working in the summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children and young people. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter: - explain what sort of work you would like to do - describe your personality - say what relevant experience and skills you have
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have recently found out about the vacancyyour desire to hire someone at the summer camp to help children and young people. I would like to applyI just thought that I should apply for this job and gain some rewarding experience this summer.
I am applying to work as a “Camp Leader” at your summer camp, and I am confident that I have the required qualifications and skillsqualifications, credentials and skills to supervise the children and young people and keep them happy and safe, while also coordinating their activitiesall of their activities and developing new programmes for them Deleteat the same time.
In the past, I worked with a large group of children at a local children’s club where I successfully helped them develophelped them in developing new skills and hobbies. In additionBesides, I also have experience working as a part-time physical instructor at an elementary school in my hometown. And as far as my personality is concerned, I am physically fitfairly healthy and energetic, passionate about my responsibilities, and I remain patient even in challenging situationsnever lose my patience that easily.
So, please consider me for the position of 'camp leader' at your summer camp and see the difference I make with your children and youth.
I would be glad to hear a positive reply from you.
Yours faithfully,
James Cullen
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter covers every requested point with a clear formal purpose, relevant experience, and convincing detail about the camp-leader role. Its main limitation is that several expressions sound inflated or unnatural, which slightly reduces precision despite strong grammatical control; the highest-priority improvement is to use simpler, more idiomatic phrasing when describing suitability and personal qualities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The application has a clear purpose and develops the desired role, personality, experience, and relevant skills in appropriate detail.
Make the request still more persuasive by linking one specific camp activity to a concrete skill or achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the application purpose through suitability and experience to a clear closing request.
Shorten the heavily extended second paragraph sentence and use less conspicuous linking between ideas.
Lexical Resource
A good range of job-related vocabulary conveys responsibilities and experience clearly, though some collocations are unnatural or overstated.
Replace phrases such as “desire to hire,” “fairly healthy,” and “children and youth” with more natural, precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally accurate and meaning remains consistently clear, with only minor awkwardness.
Refine preposition and adverb choices in phrases such as “helped them in developing” and “never lose my patience that easily.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You would like a job working in the summer camp which runs sports and outdoor activities for children and young people. Write a letter to the organisers of the summer camp. In your letter:
- explain what sort of work you would like to do
- describe your personality
- say what relevant experience and skills you have
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.