Mrs Barrete, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrete, In your letter: - suggest how you could help her in her home - say why you would like to do this work - explain when you will and will not be available
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Barrete, I am writing this letter because I would like to get some information about this ad you placed. I can help you in your home. I can do all types of activities that are necessary for daily routine work. I am a specialist in cooking and can make all types of dishes. Although not only an expert in cooking, I also do all kinds of work necessary for daily routine like cleaning the house, washing the clothes, ironing, and all types of work that you want. Actually i m jobless and i am searching of new job. I have experties in this job, and i have an experience related to this, i can manage it. I am available for this job from 9am to 5.pm. During these hours i can perform my duty and i need two off Saturday and Sunday. IF u are willing to giving me this job so kindly inform me therefore i can this start this job from next summer. I am looking forward your hearing from you. yours sincerely, Munnaza Shafique
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. State the purpose Original: get some information about this ad Suggested revision: apply for the position advertised Why it matters: The opening should clearly state that the writer is applying for the advertised work.
- 2. Use specific wording Original: all types of activities Suggested revision: all the household tasks Why it matters: This phrase identifies the kind of help more precisely.
- 3. Use natural collocation Original: necessary for daily routine work Suggested revision: needed for the daily routine Why it matters: The original phrase is repetitive and does not form a natural English collocation.
- 4. Use natural wording Original: a specialist in cooking Suggested revision: an experienced cook Why it matters: "An experienced cook" expresses this qualification more naturally.
- 5. Improve collocation Original: make all types of dishes Suggested revision: prepare a wide range of dishes Why it matters: "Prepare dishes" is a more natural collocation in a formal application.
- 6. Use formal transition Original: Actually Suggested revision: Currently Why it matters: "Currently" introduces the present employment situation more formally and precisely.
- 7. Correct pronoun and verb Original: i m Suggested revision: I am Why it matters: The pronoun must be capitalized and the verb must be written in full in a formal letter.
- 8. Correct verb pattern Original: searching of new job Suggested revision: looking for a new job Why it matters: The correct expression is "look for" rather than "search of".
- 9. Correct spelling Original: experties Suggested revision: expertise Why it matters: "Expertise" is the correct spelling of the noun.
- 10. Clarify experience Original: in this job Suggested revision: in this type of work Why it matters: This wording makes clear that the experience relates to similar domestic work.
- 11. Use uncountable noun Original: i have an experience Suggested revision: I have experience Why it matters: "Experience" is uncountable when it refers generally to practical knowledge.
- 12. Be more precise Original: related to this Suggested revision: in a similar role Why it matters: This phrase describes the claimed relevant experience more clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- get some information about this ad apply for the position advertised
- all types of activities all the household tasks
- necessary for daily routine work needed for the daily routine
- a specialist in cooking an experienced cook
- make all types of dishes prepare a wide range of dishes
- Actually Currently
Why this response received Band 5.0
The response addresses the requested areas by identifying household tasks, explaining the applicant's interest, and stating working hours and unavailable days. However, the development is repetitive and the formal register is weakened by texting forms, inconsistent capitalization, and frequent grammar errors that sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. The priority is to rewrite the application in clear paragraphs using complete, accurately formed sentences and consistently professional language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are addressed, but the reason for wanting the work is thinly developed and the tone is inconsistently appropriate for a job application.
Explain the motivation more specifically and maintain a polite professional register throughout, avoiding forms such as u.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a broadly sensible order, but ideas are repetitive, paragraphing is absent, and several connections between clauses are awkward.
Group help offered, reasons for applying, and availability into separate paragraphs with simple, accurate transitions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main message, but repetition, spelling errors, and inaccurate word combinations limit precision.
Replace repeated phrases such as all types and daily routine with specific vocabulary, and check spelling and collocations carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Some simple structures are accurate, but frequent errors in capitalization, articles, prepositions, verb forms, and clause construction reduce control.
Focus on writing complete sentences with capital I, correct verb patterns, and accurate prepositions before attempting longer structures.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Mrs Barrete, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrete, In your letter:
- suggest how you could help her in her home
- say why you would like to do this work
- explain when you will and will not be available
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.