You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter: - say what experience you have? - ask what the work involves? - enquire about work conditions?
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter with reference to your job posting advert in the local newspaper which was published yesterday. It contains information that a part-time role is available for a few months during the summer. I feel obliged that I would be a suitable choice to take up this opportunity, and I ensure to provide my utmost support in fulfilling your expectations.
Firstly, let me provide some insights from my previous experience. I had worked as an assistant waiter in a Chinese restaurant located in the downtown area for more than a year. I used to attend my college till afternoon and work from evenings till midnight.
Although the newspaper clipping contains the duration of the employment, I would like to know more about the type of work and my contribution to the functioning of the hotel not only as an individual but also as a team.
Furthermore, I would like to enquire regarding the timings of my shift and salary which is paid on either hourly or daily basis. Additionally, please help me with the date of joining so I can be prepared to start as early as possible.
Thank you for your consideration, and hope to hear from you soon.
Yours faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: job posting advert Suggested revision: job advertisement Why it matters: Posting and advert duplicate the same idea in this noun phrase.
- 2. Use concise reporting Original: It contains information that Suggested revision: It states that Why it matters: This reporting phrase is clearer and more concise for an advertisement.
- 3. Use exact duration Original: a few months Suggested revision: three months Why it matters: The advertisement specifies a three-month summer position.
- 4. Correct word choice Original: I feel obliged that Suggested revision: I believe that Why it matters: Feel obliged does not express the intended belief about suitability.
- 5. Use valid verb pattern Original: I ensure to provide Suggested revision: I would strive to provide Why it matters: Ensure is not normally followed by this to-infinitive pattern with the intended meaning.
- 6. Correct past tense Original: I had worked Suggested revision: I worked Why it matters: The simple past is appropriate because no later past reference point is established.
- 7. Correct collocation Original: attend my college Suggested revision: attend college Why it matters: Attend college normally takes no possessive determiner in this general sense.
- 8. Fix time phrase Original: from evenings till midnight Suggested revision: in the evenings until midnight Why it matters: In the evenings is the correct prepositional phrase for a recurring work period.
- 9. Use concise opening Original: writing this letter with reference to Suggested revision: writing in response to Why it matters: This phrase gives the purpose of the letter more directly.
- 10. Name applicant role Original: choice Suggested revision: candidate Why it matters: Candidate is the natural noun for a person applying for a job.
- 11. Use concise location Original: located in the downtown area Suggested revision: located downtown Why it matters: This shorter expression conveys the same location naturally.
- 12. Correct time phrase Original: till afternoon Suggested revision: until the afternoon Why it matters: The definite article is needed in this time expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- job posting advert job advertisement
- It contains information that It states that
- a few months three months
- I feel obliged that I believe that
- I ensure to provide I would strive to provide
- I had worked I worked
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well organised, uses a suitable formal tone, and covers the applicant’s experience, likely duties, and key employment conditions. Its main limitation is a pattern of awkward collocations and grammatical slips that makes several sentences less natural despite the clear message. The highest priority is to express qualifications and questions more directly, using accurate tense, articles, and standard job-application phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fulfils its purpose and addresses all three bullet points with relevant experience and questions about duties, hours, pay, and the start date.
Make the question about the role more specific by asking which duties and responsibilities the successful applicant would handle.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a clear progression from application purpose to experience, duties, and conditions, with effective paragraphing throughout.
Reduce reliance on signposting words and connect closely related questions more naturally within each paragraph.
Lexical Resource
There is a sufficient range of formal employment vocabulary, but awkward choices such as “I feel obliged,” “timings,” and “enquire regarding” weaken naturalness and precision.
Use standard application phrases such as “I believe I am suitable,” “working hours,” and “enquire about.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of complex and simple structures conveys the message clearly, although tense, article, and clause errors occur with noticeable regularity.
Correct forms such as “I worked,” “in the evenings,” “on an hourly basis,” and “I hope to hear from you.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have seen an advertisement for part-time work in a hotel for three months over the summer. Write a letter to the manager. In your letter:
- say what experience you have?
- ask what the work involves?
- enquire about work conditions?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.