You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have one or two problems and can’t stay the whole course. Write a letter to the course director. In your letter: - explain your interest in the course - describe your problems - find out if a refund is possible
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I’m writing in response to your advertisement on your website for a tennis course in Bath, England. I have always wanted to play tennis so I’m very interested in joining the course; however, I do not have my own racquets and don’t wish to buy racquets at this time. Is it possible for me to hire racquets and balls for the duration of the course? Also I have poor eyesight and have to wear glasses all the time. I would like to know if your course is suitable for someone like me. I’m afraid that I have to be back in Malaysia by 31st December so I am unable to stay in England for the whole three weeks. Is it possible for me to get a partial refund if I want to leave one week before the end of the course? I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Philip Wong
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add introductory comma Original: Also I have poor eyesight Suggested revision: Also, I have poor eyesight Why it matters: An introductory connector should be followed by a comma.
- 2. Use formal phrasing Original: glasses all the time Suggested revision: glasses at all times Why it matters: This phrasing is slightly more appropriate for a formal enquiry.
- 3. Be more precise Original: someone like me Suggested revision: someone with poor eyesight Why it matters: Naming the relevant condition makes the question more precise.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: have to be back in Malaysia Suggested revision: must be back in Malaysia Why it matters: The modal verb expresses the obligation more concisely.
- 5. Use formal date style Original: 31st Suggested revision: 31 Why it matters: This date form is conventional in formal British correspondence.
- 6. Clarify necessity Original: want Suggested revision: need Why it matters: The revision shows that the early departure is necessary rather than merely preferred.
- 7. Sentence rewrite Original: I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Suggested revision: I look forward to hearing from you. Why it matters: The simple present is more conventional in a formal closing.
- 8. Organise the letter Suggested revision: Separate the opening, equipment and eyesight questions, early-departure refund request, and closing into distinct paragraphs. Why it matters: Functional paragraphing would make the sequence of requests easier for the course director to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- Also I have poor eyesight Also, I have poor eyesight
- glasses all the time glasses at all times
- someone like me someone with poor eyesight
- have to be back in Malaysia must be back in Malaysia
- 31st 31
- want need
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is clear, appropriately formal, and directly addresses the course, equipment, suitability, early departure, and refund, with consistently controlled language. Its main limitation is that the interest in the course and the practical problems are covered quite briefly, while the single-block presentation makes the sequence less easy to scan. Develop the reasons for joining slightly and separate the purpose, problems, and refund request into distinct paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are addressed, and the formal tone suits a letter to a course director.
Add a little more detail about the attraction of this particular course and how the stated problems affect participation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from interest and equipment concerns to early departure and the refund request, with effective linking throughout.
Use separate paragraphs for the opening purpose, practical concerns, and final refund enquiry to make the structure easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and natural for the situation, including effective terms for equipment, course duration, suitability, and a partial refund.
Broaden the description of the course itself so the language expressing interest is as specific as the practical requests.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A varied mix of simple and complex sentences is handled accurately, and punctuation supports clear communication.
Refine punctuation around short linking expressions such as “Also” to maintain consistently polished sentence boundaries.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You saw an advertisement for a tennis course in England but you have one or two problems and can’t stay the whole course. Write a letter to the course director. In your letter:
- explain your interest in the course
- describe your problems
- find out if a refund is possible
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.