Write a letter to the Information Officer at the TAPE Information Office about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate. In your letter: - ask for information about the certificate - describe your educational background - explain why you want to do the course
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to request some information regarding your Tertiary Preparation Certificate programme which I am planning to pursue this term. I am hoping you would provide the necessary details so that I can intake the course. Regarding my education qualification, I have finished my high school diploma from the Montessori Elementary School in Baguio, the Philippines, three years ago and my major was science. I received 76% marks in my school final exam. Now I want to get admitted to a reputed university for higher studies in the UK and for that I want to enrol in this course. I am convinced that the tertiary preparation course at your institution would greatly help me in my university education. For that, I need to know the course duration, tuition fee and admission procedure for the Tertiary Preparation Certificate programme. I am planning to take the architectural study in a reputed UK university and would really appreciate it if you inform me of the courses I should take. Finally, do inform me of the document checklist for getting admission. Thank you in advance. I look forward to your kind response regarding my concerns. Yours faithfully, Lyn Olivar
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct request form Original: I am hoping you would provide Suggested revision: I hope you can provide Why it matters: The present form creates a grammatically natural and appropriately polite request.
- 2. Use enrol collocation Original: intake the course Suggested revision: enrol in the course Why it matters: A student enrols in or takes a course; 'intake' is not a verb for joining one.
- 3. Express one result Original: 76% marks Suggested revision: a mark of 76% Why it matters: A single examination result is expressed as 'a mark of 76%'.
- 4. Use natural word order Original: school final exam Suggested revision: final school examination Why it matters: This is the standard order for describing the final examination taken at school.
- 5. Use formal admission phrase Original: get admitted to Suggested revision: gain admission to Why it matters: 'Gain admission to' is more precise and formal in a letter to an information officer.
- 6. Use natural academic terms Original: a reputed university for higher studies Suggested revision: a reputable university for higher education Why it matters: 'Reputable' describes an institution naturally, and 'higher education' is the standard term.
- 7. Show the result concisely Original: and for that Suggested revision: so Why it matters: 'So' connects the university goal to the decision to enrol more directly.
- 8. Use the programme name Original: the tertiary preparation course Suggested revision: the Tertiary Preparation Certificate programme Why it matters: Using the official name keeps the requested course clear and consistent.
- 9. Clarify the benefit Original: in my university education Suggested revision: prepare for university study Why it matters: The programme helps the applicant prepare before university rather than during the university education itself.
- 10. Clarify the reference Original: For that, I need to know Suggested revision: To help me plan, I need to know Why it matters: This states the purpose of the information request instead of using a vague reference.
- 11. List programme details clearly Original: course duration, tuition fee and admission procedure Suggested revision: programme duration, tuition fees, and admission procedure Why it matters: The revision uses consistent programme terminology and the natural plural 'tuition fees'.
- 12. Make request more polite Original: do inform me Suggested revision: could you also inform me Why it matters: A polite question is more appropriate than an imperative in this formal request letter.
Suggested Rewrites
- I am hoping you would provide I hope you can provide
- intake the course enrol in the course
- 76% marks a mark of 76%
- school final exam final school examination
- get admitted to gain admission to
- a reputed university for higher studies a reputable university for higher education
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter has a clear formal purpose and thoroughly covers the requested information, the writer's educational background, and the reason for taking the course. Its main weakness is the concentration of several awkward collocations and grammatical choices within one unbroken paragraph, which reduces polish and readability. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the requests into distinct paragraphs and revise phrases such as 'intake the course' and 'architectural study' into natural formal English.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The formal letter clearly fulfils its purpose, covers all three bullet points, and develops the requests with useful specific details.
Clarify exactly which architectural preparation subjects are being requested so that the final question is fully precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a sensible sequence and linking is generally clear, but the entire letter is presented as one dense paragraph.
Separate the opening, educational background and motivation, detailed requests, and closing into clear functional paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied for education and admissions, though several inaccurate collocations reduce naturalness.
Replace awkward phrases such as 'intake the course', 'education qualification', and 'architectural study' with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures with generally clear meaning, but several article, word-form, and clause-pattern errors remain noticeable.
Improve control of formal request structures, for example using 'I would appreciate it if you could inform me' consistently.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Write a letter to the Information Officer at the TAPE Information Office about the Tertiary Preparation Certificate. In your letter:
- ask for information about the certificate
- describe your educational background
- explain why you want to do the course
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.