You work for a company. You recently found an advertisement for a training course that would be useful for your work, and you are considering taking it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - give details of the course - explain how the course would be useful - describe how the company could support you in taking this course Smith,
Sample Response
Dear Mr. Smith,
I am writing to express my interest in attending a business French course offered by Institute of Business Communication and language from June 1st to June 30th.
The course will provide me with in-depth knowledge of the French language and culture. Specifically, I will learn how to negotiate in French, write professional emails, and improve my pronunciation, which is directly related to my job responsibilities.
As a sales representative, I have meetings with our French business partners several times a month. Attending this course will enable me to communicate more effectively with them and will help me to develop stronger relationships. I believe that this training will be very beneficial for our company as it will equip me with the tools to conduct successful negotiations and improve our business relationships.
I am hoping that the company could provide me with the necessary support to attend this course, such as covering the course fee and travel expenses. I promise to share the knowledge I gain from the training with my colleagues upon my return.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to hearing your decision.
Yours sincerely, Hanako Yamada
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add the article Original: by Institute Suggested revision: by the Institute Why it matters: A singular institutional name used this way requires the definite article.
- 2. Capitalize the name Original: language Suggested revision: Language Why it matters: Language should be capitalized as part of the institution's name.
- 3. Use formal date style Original: June 1st to June 30th Suggested revision: 1 June to 30 June Why it matters: This date format is concise and appropriate for a formal letter.
- 4. Use the natural preposition Original: for Suggested revision: to Why it matters: Beneficial to is the standard collocation for describing an advantage to an organization.
- 5. Avoid lexical repetition Original: our business relationships Suggested revision: these partnerships Why it matters: The reference links back clearly while avoiding another repetition of relationships.
- 6. Make the request direct Original: I am hoping that the company could Suggested revision: I hope the company can Why it matters: The simpler tense and modal make the formal request clearer and more direct.
- 7. Soften the commitment Original: I promise to share Suggested revision: I would be happy to share Why it matters: This wording offers a professional benefit without sounding unnecessarily forceful.
- 8. Use a natural closing Original: hearing your decision Suggested revision: hearing from you Why it matters: Hearing from you is the natural expression in this formal closing.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Specifically, I will learn how to negotiate in French, write professional emails, and improve my pronunciation, which is directly related to my job responsibilities. Suggested revision: Specifically, I will learn how to negotiate in French, write professional emails, and improve my pronunciation; these skills are directly related to my job responsibilities. Why it matters: The revision makes the relative comment refer clearly to all three course skills rather than only pronunciation.
Suggested Rewrites
- by Institute by the Institute
- language Language
- June 1st to June 30th 1 June to 30 June
- for to
- our business relationships these partnerships
- I am hoping that the company could I hope the company can
Why this response received Band 8.5
The letter’s strongest feature is its complete, well-developed coverage of the course, its workplace value, and the specific support requested, all in an appropriately respectful tone. Its main limitation is a small amount of repetition and a few local language lapses, including the missing article before the institute name and the unclear reference in 'which is directly related.' The highest-priority improvement is to polish these isolated grammatical and lexical details.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response fully addresses the course details, its professional usefulness, and the requested company support with relevant development and an appropriate tone.
Retain this complete coverage while keeping the requested support as specific and practical as it is here.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into purposeful paragraphs and progress smoothly from the course description to benefits, support, and closing.
Make the link between the course content and job responsibilities even more direct to sharpen the transition between the second and third paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and well suited to a workplace request, though 'business relationships' and related course terms are repeated.
Use concise alternatives for repeated wording, particularly when discussing relationships and the benefits of the training.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a wide range of well-controlled complex structures, with only isolated issues involving an omitted article and an unclear relative-clause reference.
Add 'the' before the institute name and revise the relative clause so that it clearly refers to all the listed skills.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You work for a company. You recently found an advertisement for a training course that would be useful for your work, and you are considering taking it. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter:
- give details of the course
- explain how the course would be useful
- describe how the company could support you in taking this course Smith,
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.