You borrowed an important textbook during the last term from a classmate. You now realize your classmate has returned home overseas and you still have the book. Write a letter to him/her. In your letter: - apologize for the mistake - find out how important the book is to him/her - say what you will do Dear...............,
Sample Response
Dear Stefano, Hope this letter finds you and your family in good health. I came to know from Jenny that you've permanently moved to your hometown in Italy. I'm writing this letter to apologize for the physics book that I borrowed from you during the last term but forgot to return. I'm now willing to return the book anytime you want. I would like you to brief me on how important that physics book is to you. If I remember correctly, you have plans to pursue a master's degree in physics from one of the universities in your country. I'm not sure if this book is going to help you in cracking the entrance exam. Based on your response, I might courier it or send it through the post. As you are aware, Tom is visiting your hometown next month. If you can wait, I will send the book along with him. Also, this would make sure that your book is not misplaced. I wish you success and look forward to hearing from you soon. Warm wishes, Jasmine
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate greeting Original: Dear Stefano, Hope Suggested revision: Dear Stefano, I hope Why it matters: The salutation and opening sentence should be separated.
- 2. Natural phrase Original: I came to know Suggested revision: I heard Why it matters: This is more natural in a friendly letter.
- 3. Softer wording Original: you've permanently moved Suggested revision: you have moved back Why it matters: Permanently may be too strong unless confirmed.
- 4. Clear apology Original: apologize for the physics book Suggested revision: apologize for forgetting to return the physics book Why it matters: This makes the mistake explicit.
- 5. Add comma Original: during the last term but forgot Suggested revision: during the last term, but forgot Why it matters: The contrast needs a comma before but.
- 6. More responsible Original: I'm now willing Suggested revision: I am ready Why it matters: Willing sounds as if returning it is optional.
- 7. Natural phrase Original: anytime you want Suggested revision: whenever you want Why it matters: This is more idiomatic.
- 8. Wrong verb Original: brief me on how important Suggested revision: tell me how important Why it matters: Brief me sounds businesslike and unnatural here.
- 9. Natural tense Original: plans to pursue Suggested revision: planned to pursue Why it matters: The plan was known earlier, so past tense fits.
- 10. Specificity Original: one of the universities Suggested revision: a university Why it matters: The phrase is unnecessarily vague.
- 11. Formal wording Original: cracking the entrance exam Suggested revision: passing the entrance exam Why it matters: Cracking is informal and region-specific.
- 12. Clear condition Original: Based on your response Suggested revision: Depending on your response Why it matters: This is the natural connector for the two options.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Stefano, Hope Dear Stefano, I hope
- I came to know I heard
- you've permanently moved you have moved back
- apologize for the physics book apologize for forgetting to return the physics book
- during the last term but forgot during the last term, but forgot
- I'm now willing I am ready
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter apologizes, asks about the book’s importance, and offers practical return options. The friendly tone is appropriate.
Make the apology a little stronger by accepting responsibility before discussing return options.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are logically ordered, but one paragraph reduces readability.
Separate apology, importance of the book, and return options into short paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is generally suitable, but a few phrases are too formal or unnatural for a classmate.
Use “let me know” instead of “brief me” and “send it by courier”.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly controlled, with errors in opening sentence structure and idiomatic verb patterns.
Check openings after greetings and verb patterns after “help”.