Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter: - mention why you are writing - explain why you would like to work from home - say how this can benefit you and the company
Sample Response
Dear Mr Brook,
I am writing this letter to seek your permission to avail the “work from home” facility for the next six months starting from the beginning of the next month. I am hoping that you would consider my request and permit me to work from home.
And I am dubbing this a “great opportunity” because it would definitely help me save a lot of time that is wasted commuting to and from the office, especially, when I live a bit too far from my office due to some family reasons. Moreover, less time in road traffic could also mean less stress, and when we have more time to finish our work and less stress, we are usually more productive at work.
This arrangement would benefit both me and the office as I would be able to work more hours per week to finish the deadlines.
I am hoping that you would agree to let me work from home for the next six months starting from 1st February.
Thank you in advance.
Yours sincerely,
John Blair
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: In a letter, ‘this letter’ is already understood and can be omitted.
- 2. Fix formal expression Original: to avail the “work from home” facility Suggested revision: to use the work-from-home arrangement Why it matters: ‘Avail’ cannot take the facility directly in this construction, and ‘arrangement’ is more natural.
- 3. Give the exact date Original: starting from the beginning of the next month Suggested revision: starting on 1 February Why it matters: The specific date stated later is clearer than the relative phrase ‘next month’.
- 4. Use direct polite form Original: I am hoping that you would consider Suggested revision: I hope you will consider Why it matters: The simple present and future form makes the request more direct while remaining polite.
- 5. Use professional tone Original: And I am dubbing Suggested revision: I consider Why it matters: Beginning with ‘And’ and using ‘dubbing’ sounds conversational for a formal HR request.
- 6. Avoid promotional wording Original: a “great opportunity” Suggested revision: a valuable arrangement Why it matters: The revised phrase is more measured and appropriate for a workplace request.
- 7. Use neutral wording Original: time that is wasted commuting Suggested revision: time currently spent commuting Why it matters: ‘Wasted’ sounds unnecessarily negative about the existing work arrangement.
- 8. Remove incorrect comma Original: especially, when Suggested revision: especially when Why it matters: No comma should separate ‘especially’ from the clause it modifies.
- 9. Use formal distance phrase Original: a bit too far from my office Suggested revision: quite far from the office Why it matters: ‘A bit too far’ is conversational and imprecise in a formal letter.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: less time in road traffic Suggested revision: less time in traffic Why it matters: The standard expression is ‘time in traffic’, without ‘road’.
- 11. Keep person consistent Original: we Suggested revision: I Why it matters: The letter discusses the writer’s individual request, so shifting to ‘we’ is inconsistent.
- 12. Keep pronoun consistent Original: finish our work Suggested revision: complete my work Why it matters: The first-person singular form matches the writer’s personal work arrangement.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter writing
- to avail the “work from home” facility to use the work-from-home arrangement
- starting from the beginning of the next month starting on 1 February
- I am hoping that you would consider I hope you will consider
- And I am dubbing I consider
- a “great opportunity” a valuable arrangement
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter clearly states the six-month request, explains the commuting problem, and links remote work to lower stress and greater productivity, so its purpose is persuasive and complete. The main weakness is occasional awkward or overly conversational wording, especially ‘dubbing this’ and ‘finish the deadlines’, alongside some repetition of the request. Prioritise a more consistently professional register and sharper, concrete explanation of how output and availability would benefit the company.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are developed, and the tone is generally suitable despite a few informal or vague details.
Make the company benefit more concrete by explaining how saved commuting time would improve availability, output, or deadline delivery.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is logically sequenced and sensibly paragraphed, although the request is repeated and the second paragraph contains an overextended sentence.
State the request once, then use one focused paragraph for personal reasons and another for benefits to the employer.
Lexical Resource
A good range of language conveys the request and benefits, but several collocations are awkward or too conversational for an HR manager.
Replace phrases such as ‘avail the facility’, ‘dubbing this’, and ‘finish the deadlines’ with natural professional alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally well controlled, with occasional punctuation, article, and clause-level lapses that do not impede meaning.
Refine the long cause-and-effect sentence and remove unnecessary commas, especially after ‘especially’ and around subordinate clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
Your employer has recently allowed some employees to work remotely from home. You would also like to work from home. Write a letter to the HR manager for permission to work from home for the next six months. In your letter:
- mention why you are writing
- explain why you would like to work from home
- say how this can benefit you and the company
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.