You are a professional and you are planning to work abroad. You have come across an employment agency on the internet that hires people from your country and sends them to other countries. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter: - Write reasons why you want to work abroad. - Describe what kind of company or organization you want to work with. - State your expectations from the job.
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing a letter to express my desire to work overseas. My happiness knew no bounds when out of the blue. My eyes fell on the advertisement by your agency on the internet about appointing experts of any field in overseas firms.
First and foremost, my longing to do a job in Canada is due to its Cosmopolitan ambience, and one of my bosom friends live there. So it would be a great opportunity for me to know about the host country’s culture and work culture.
As a chef in a restaurant, I would like to work in McDonald’s Corp, Domino’s Pizza, Inc, Bloomin brands Inc. I would be able to earn handsome income and experience of working in these international firms. I often heard that the employees get a chance to work with great Chefs of the world. So I can enhance my culinary skills as well.
To be honest, I have 5 years of experience working as a chef in the Taj hotel as well as I have been invited many times as a judge in many cooking competitions. So I think this is sufficient to get a job and if you have any query, please do let me know. I would not hesitate to answer instantly.
I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.
Yours faithfully,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: writing a letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The purpose is clearer and more concise without the redundant noun.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: do a job in Canada Suggested revision: work in Canada Why it matters: This is the more natural expression for seeking employment in a country.
- 3. Use lowercase Original: Cosmopolitan Suggested revision: cosmopolitan Why it matters: A common adjective within a sentence should not be capitalized.
- 4. Fix subject agreement Original: one of my bosom friends live Suggested revision: one of my close friends lives Why it matters: The singular head noun “one” requires “lives,” and “close friend” suits this formal letter better.
- 5. Avoid repetition Original: host country’s culture and work culture Suggested revision: host country’s culture and working environment Why it matters: This avoids repeating “culture” while preserving the two intended areas of learning.
- 6. Use concise phrasing Original: As a chef in a restaurant Suggested revision: As a restaurant chef Why it matters: The shorter noun phrase expresses the same professional background more naturally.
- 7. Correct company name Original: Bloomin brands Inc Suggested revision: Bloomin’ Brands, Inc. Why it matters: The company name needs correct capitalization, punctuation, and the apostrophe.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: earn handsome income Suggested revision: earn a good income Why it matters: “Handsome income” needs an article and is less natural here than “a good income.”
- 9. Add parallel verb Original: and experience of working Suggested revision: and gain experience working Why it matters: A verb is needed to make this benefit parallel with “earn.”
- 10. Use present perfect Original: I often heard Suggested revision: I have often heard Why it matters: Present perfect connects reports heard in the past with the writer’s current application.
- 11. Improve word choice Original: great Chefs Suggested revision: leading chefs Why it matters: “Leading chefs” is more precise, and the common noun should be lowercase.
- 12. Clarify the result Original: So I can enhance Suggested revision: This would allow me to enhance Why it matters: The revision connects the expected opportunity more clearly to the resulting skill development.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing a letter writing
- do a job in Canada work in Canada
- Cosmopolitan cosmopolitan
- one of my bosom friends live one of my close friends lives
- host country’s culture and work culture host country’s culture and working environment
- As a chef in a restaurant As a restaurant chef
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter addresses all three bullet points with relevant details about Canada, preferred employers, and expectations for income and professional growth, while maintaining a generally suitable formal tone. Its main limitation is recurring awkward or inaccurate phrasing, alongside several grammatical slips that reduce naturalness. The highest-priority improvement is to use clearer, more idiomatic sentences and proofread agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are addressed, and the preferences and expectations are developed with relevant detail.
Keep the opening more direct and ensure every detail, especially the paragraph about qualifications, clearly supports the request to the agency.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically through its purpose, reasons, preferred employers, qualifications, and closing, with effective paragraphing.
Use linking expressions more selectively and connect sentences directly instead of relying repeatedly on openers such as 'So'.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonably broad vocabulary for work, culture, and professional experience, but several collocations and word choices sound unnatural.
Replace phrases such as 'handsome income' and 'my happiness knew no bounds' with precise, natural language suited to a formal employment enquiry.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures conveys the message clearly, though agreement, article, and sentence-boundary errors recur.
Proofread for complete sentences and accurate forms, especially subject-verb agreement in 'one of my bosom friends live' and missing articles.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are a professional and you are planning to work abroad. You have come across an employment agency on the internet that hires people from your country and sends them to other countries. Write a letter to the agency. In your letter:
- Write reasons why you want to work abroad.
- Describe what kind of company or organization you want to work with.
- State your expectations from the job.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.