Write about the following topic People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
There are those who hold the opinion that individuals in the 21st century enjoy a superior quality of life compared to those living in earlier centuries. I am in complete agreement with this view, as I believe the unparalleled advancements in technology and social welfare have significantly elevated our way of living.
The first reason for this enhanced quality of life is the unprecedented progress in healthcare. Modern medical innovations have not only increased life expectancy but also improved the quality of life through effective treatments and preventive care. For example, advancements in medical imaging and minimally invasive surgery have made complex procedures safer and more accessible, drastically reducing recovery times and improving outcomes. These medical breakthroughs, unavailable in previous centuries, have provided us with a level of health and well-being that was previously unimaginable.
Moreover, the digital revolution has fundamentally transformed our daily lives, marking a significant improvement over past centuries. The internet and smartphones have democratized access to information, connecting people across the globe and empowering them with knowledge and resources. This has led to an informed and engaged society of people, capable of making better decisions for their personal and professional lives. The convenience and efficiency brought about by these technological tools, such as online banking, e-commerce, and telecommuting, have significantly improved our standard of living, making everyday tasks more manageable and less time-consuming.
To conclude, the 21st century offers a superior quality of life, primarily thanks to groundbreaking advancements in healthcare and the transformative impact of digital technology. These developments have not only prolonged our life spans but have also enriched our daily experiences, making modern life more convenient, connected, and comfortable than ever before.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid overstatement Original: the unparalleled advancements Suggested revision: major advances Why it matters: This wording presents the claim more precisely without an unnecessary superlative.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: elevated our way of living Suggested revision: raised our standard of living Why it matters: This is the more natural collocation for describing improved living conditions.
- 3. Streamline the topic sentence Original: The first reason for this enhanced quality of life Suggested revision: One reason for this improvement in quality of life Why it matters: The revision is more concise and avoids implying that a fixed sequence is necessary.
- 4. Use measured language Original: drastically Suggested revision: substantially Why it matters: This adverb conveys a significant effect in a more measured academic tone.
- 5. Clarify the claim Original: democratized access to information Suggested revision: greatly expanded access to information Why it matters: The revision states the intended effect more directly and precisely.
- 6. Remove awkward wording Original: an informed and engaged society of people Suggested revision: a more informed and engaged society Why it matters: The phrase “society of people” is redundant and unnatural in this context.
- 7. Correct the preposition Original: for Suggested revision: in Why it matters: The preposition “in” more naturally links decisions to these areas of life.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: brought about by these technological tools Suggested revision: provided by these technological tools Why it matters: The revision expresses the same relationship more concisely.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: There are those who hold the opinion that individuals in the 21st century enjoy a superior quality of life compared to those living in earlier centuries. Suggested revision: Some people believe that individuals in the 21st century enjoy a better quality of life than people in earlier centuries did. Why it matters: The original makes an illogical comparison between a quality of life and people.
- 10. Clarify paragraph progression Suggested revision: Signal the shift from access to information to practical digital conveniences so the two benefits form a clearer progression. Why it matters: The paragraph moves between two distinct benefits without clearly marking how the second extends the first.
Suggested Rewrites
- the unparalleled advancements major advances
- elevated our way of living raised our standard of living
- The first reason for this enhanced quality of life One reason for this improvement in quality of life
- drastically substantially
- democratized access to information greatly expanded access to information
- an informed and engaged society of people a more informed and engaged society
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, fully sustained position and develops two highly relevant reasons with specific, logically connected support and strong organization. Its main limitation is that some claims remain broad and uniformly positive, so the argument would become more persuasive by briefly qualifying the comparison across different populations or circumstances while preserving its concise focus.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is direct and consistently supported through well-developed arguments about healthcare and digital technology.
Add a brief qualification about unequal access or remaining disadvantages to make the comparison more nuanced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through clearly focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used smoothly and unobtrusively.
Vary the transitions between supporting points slightly to make the progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and appropriately academic, with strong control of topic-specific language.
Replace a few broad formulations with more exact wording to sharpen the argument's precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with only negligible lapses.
Maintain this control while varying sentence openings to refine the prose further.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Write about the following topic People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.