In some places, shops are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Do you think it is good for customers, shop staff and our society as a whole?
Sample Response
In the present scenario, numerous stores serve retail services round the clock. I firmly believe, it is a beneficial trend for consumers, employees and the community, and upcoming segments are providing facts to support my consideration.
To embark with, gone are those days when people need to wait for sunrise to buy commodities. 24/7 shops, nowadays, are available in most of the markets. It is a boon for working people especially. For instance, they need not worry about shopping or buying essential stuff, as these are available even full night. Furthermore, a healthy lifestyle is another positive result, since workers can have fresh food anytime.
From workers point of view, always open shops provide an abundance of benefits. Financial stability and flexible working hours are possible outcomes. Since shops are open the whole day, it provides an opportunity to earn more by the way of overtime work. They can earn more and save more for their future. Apart from this, they can also choose flexible working hours as per their preferences.
In addition to this, the community as a whole also reap benefits from it. The business run 24/7 requires more staff for their daily operations; hence, it enhances chances of more job opportunities. It is also having good hands in alleviating the problem of poverty. For example, this trend gains root in many suburbs and eradicate the problem of unemployment to large extent.
To conclude, when shops are open all day and night it definitely benefits customers, working staff and society. Hence, I believe it should welcome by government and enterprise warming.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: serve Suggested revision: provide Why it matters: The verb 'provide' collocates naturally with 'services'.
- 2. Remove unnecessary comma Original: believe, Suggested revision: believe Why it matters: A comma should not separate the reporting verb from its following clause.
- 3. Clarify essay signposting Original: upcoming segments are providing facts Suggested revision: the following paragraphs provide reasons Why it matters: This wording clearly identifies the later parts of the essay and their function.
- 4. Fix adverb placement Original: shops, nowadays, are Suggested revision: shops are now Why it matters: Placing 'now' after the verb avoids the disruptive comma pair.
- 5. Remove unnecessary article Original: most of the markets Suggested revision: most markets Why it matters: A general plural noun does not require 'the' here.
- 6. Use precise emphasis Original: working people especially Suggested revision: working people in particular Why it matters: 'In particular' expresses this emphasis more naturally.
- 7. Use natural time phrase Original: even full night Suggested revision: throughout the night Why it matters: 'Throughout the night' is the idiomatic expression for the entire night.
- 8. Add possessive form Original: From workers point of view Suggested revision: From the workers' point of view Why it matters: The plural possessive and definite article are required in this expression.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: always open shops Suggested revision: shops that are always open Why it matters: The relative clause sounds more natural than the stacked modifiers.
- 10. Fix preposition phrase Original: by the way of overtime work Suggested revision: through overtime work Why it matters: 'Through' directly and naturally expresses the means of earning more.
- 11. Use formal phrasing Original: as per their preferences Suggested revision: according to their preferences Why it matters: 'According to' is clearer and more appropriate in formal writing.
- 12. Fix subject agreement Original: reap Suggested revision: reaps Why it matters: The singular collective noun 'community' requires 'reaps'.
Suggested Rewrites
- serve provide
- believe, believe
- upcoming segments are providing facts the following paragraphs provide reasons
- shops, nowadays, are shops are now
- most of the markets most markets
- working people especially working people in particular
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response has a clear positive position and an orderly structure that addresses customers, staff, and society separately. Its main weakness is that support remains general or questionable, while frequent collocation and grammatical errors reduce precision; the highest priority is to develop each claim with a specific, credible explanation and then edit sentences for natural phrasing and agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses all three named groups and maintains a clear position, but several benefits are asserted with limited or unconvincing support.
Develop each group with one credible cause-and-effect explanation or relevant example rather than adding broad claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress through clear topic-based paragraphs, although linking is formulaic and some sentences repeat rather than advance the argument.
Use fewer stock transitions and make each sentence build directly on the previous claim.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient topic vocabulary and some attempted range, but frequent unnatural collocations weaken precision.
Replace strained phrases with accurate everyday combinations, especially when describing opening hours, employment, and social effects.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring article, agreement, preposition, and passive-form errors reduce control.
Proofread clause by clause for subject-verb agreement, articles, and complete passive constructions.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some places, shops are open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Do you think it is good for customers, shop staff and our society as a whole?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.