It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Sample Response
A criticism often heard these days is that the subjects taught in schools tend to be too academic and contribute little to preparing a young person for the real-life tasks he or she will have to perform after graduation. They say that academic subjects are rooted in the past, and are not useful for solving modern problems. I disagree with this point of view for three reasons.
My first reason is that it is the duty of parents, not teachers, to prepare their children to deal with the practical affairs of life. The home, not the classroom, is the ideal place to learn about home management and interpersonal skills. As for work abilities and attitudes, they are best learned “on the job” and under the supervision of an experienced older worker.
My second reason is that academic subjects have withstood the test of time. They represent the accumulated wisdom of our ancestors down through the ages, and, far from being impractical, they equip us with the knowledge and confidence to make a sound judgment about any problems which may crop up. In addition, academic subjects are good for training us in mental discipline, while practical subjects are weak in this regard.
My third reason is based on the saying “Man does not live by bread alone.” Schooldays devoted solely to instruction in down-to-earth practical matters would be dull indeed! Lessons in the best literature of the world, and the epoch-making scientific and geographical discoveries of the past enrich our lives and make us feel that we are part of the great family of mankind.
All in all, the teaching of academic subjects in schools is entirely appropriate. It is my firmly held view that practical subjects have no place in the classroom. On the contrary, the curriculum should be more academic.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Name the viewpoint source Original: They say that Suggested revision: Critics argue that Why it matters: They has no explicit plural antecedent in the preceding sentence.
- 2. Remove unnecessary comma Original: rooted in the past, and are Suggested revision: rooted in the past and are Why it matters: The comma needlessly separates two predicates with the same subject.
- 3. Modernise practical phrase Original: practical affairs of life Suggested revision: practical aspects of daily life Why it matters: The revised phrase is more direct and contemporary.
- 4. Use workplace terminology Original: work abilities and attitudes Suggested revision: workplace skills and attitudes Why it matters: Workplace skills is the natural term for abilities used at work.
- 5. Focus on experience Original: experienced older worker Suggested revision: experienced colleague Why it matters: The relevant quality is experience rather than age.
- 6. Use concise collocation Original: good for training us in mental discipline Suggested revision: effective at developing mental discipline Why it matters: The revision expresses the educational benefit more naturally.
- 7. Clarify comparative reference Original: practical subjects are weak in this regard Suggested revision: practical subjects develop it less directly Why it matters: The revision makes the reference to mental discipline explicit.
- 8. Remove subject-list comma Original: literature of the world, and the Suggested revision: literature of the world and the Why it matters: A comma should not separate the two coordinated subjects.
- 9. Use inclusive expression Original: great family of mankind Suggested revision: global human community Why it matters: The revised expression is contemporary and gender-inclusive.
- 10. Use reinforcing transition Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: Indeed Why it matters: The final sentence reinforces the preceding claim rather than contradicting it.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: They represent the accumulated wisdom of our ancestors down through the ages, and, far from being impractical, they equip us with the knowledge and confidence to make a sound judgment about any problems which may crop up. Suggested revision: They represent knowledge accumulated over generations and, far from being impractical, equip us with the understanding and confidence to judge problems that may arise. Why it matters: The rewrite reduces repetition and controls the interrupted clause more smoothly.
- 12. Vary reason openings Suggested revision: Replace the repeated numbered openings across the three body paragraphs with topic sentences that state each reason directly. Why it matters: Topic-focused openings would create less mechanical progression while preserving the same three-part structure.
Suggested Rewrites
- They say that Critics argue that
- rooted in the past, and are rooted in the past and are
- practical affairs of life practical aspects of daily life
- work abilities and attitudes workplace skills and attitudes
- experienced older worker experienced colleague
- good for training us in mental discipline effective at developing mental discipline
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay’s strongest feature is its clear, sustained position, developed through three distinct reasons about where practical skills belong, the enduring value of academic knowledge, and cultural enrichment. Its main limitation is that several claims are asserted categorically, especially the conclusion that practical subjects have no classroom role. Add a concrete illustration to each reason and qualify the final claim so the argument remains persuasive rather than absolute.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is direct and fully sustained, with three relevant, well-developed reasons that address the value of academic and practical learning.
Support the claims about home, workplace, and classroom learning with brief concrete illustrations and qualify the absolute final position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction, three reason-led body paragraphs, and conclusion form a clear progression, with cohesive devices used naturally and effectively.
Replace the repeated labels “my first reason,” “my second reason,” and “my third reason” with topic-focused openings for subtler progression.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexible across education, practical skills, cultural value, and abstract argument, with only occasional dated or awkward phrasing.
Modernise phrases such as “the great family of mankind” and choose slightly more precise wording for “work abilities and attitudes.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and confidently, with only minor punctuation and reference lapses.
Check optional commas and ambiguous pronoun references, particularly “They say” in the introduction, to make an already controlled style more exact.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is often said that the subjects taught in schools are too academic in orientation and that it would be more useful for children to learn about practical matters such as home management, work and interpersonal skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.