Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?
Sample Response
These days, formal academic qualifications are more highly appreciated than life experience or personal qualities when it comes to the recruitment process. There are many reasons for this, and in my opinion, this is a positive development.
The main reason for this tendency is that academic degrees are considered a tool to measure the level of knowledge that students are capable of. To be more specific, to achieve a good degree in most universities, students need to pass many examinations focusing on testing their knowledge and take part in practical training courses. These factors ensure that students have gained sufficient in-depth knowledge in the field that the company is looking for. That is why recruiters place higher value on employers holding formal academic qualifications. Whereas, in terms of people having life experience or personal qualities, these people are likely to lack a suitable amount of academic knowledge in their field, and therefore, they need to be trained for a long time by employers. This results in the reluctance of employers to hire them for vacant positions.
This trend, therefore, will bring about some positive effects on society as a whole. Students will be motivated to pursue tertiary education for the sake of their better career prospects. By attending university, students can gain insights into their chosen field and have a chance to compete with others. As for society, thanks to this trend, there will be more and more people entering university, which will contribute to a society of more well-informed and educated citizens.
In conclusion, employers prefer people with better qualifications because qualifications are to prove that their holders are sufficiently trained at university. I think that there are many positives for both students and society when employers place emphasis on formal academic qualifications instead of life experience or personal qualities.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise comparison Original: more highly appreciated than life experience Suggested revision: valued more highly than life experience Why it matters: Valued is the more precise verb when comparing recruitment priorities.
- 2. Refine academic phrasing Original: a tool to measure Suggested revision: a means of measuring Why it matters: A means of measuring is a more natural formal expression in this context.
- 3. Fix incomplete relation Original: the level of knowledge that students are capable of Suggested revision: the level of knowledge that students possess Why it matters: Capable of requires a following action, while possess correctly links students to their knowledge.
- 4. Remove redundancy Original: examinations focusing on testing their knowledge Suggested revision: examinations that test their knowledge Why it matters: Focusing on testing repeats the same idea unnecessarily.
- 5. Use stronger collocation Original: gained Suggested revision: acquired Why it matters: Acquire knowledge is a more precise academic collocation than gain knowledge here.
- 6. Clarify company needs Original: in the field that the company is looking for Suggested revision: in a field relevant to the company's needs Why it matters: A company seeks relevant expertise rather than a field itself.
- 7. Correct participant noun Original: employers holding formal academic qualifications Suggested revision: employees with formal academic qualifications Why it matters: Recruiters assess prospective employees, not employers, for their qualifications.
- 8. Reduce nominalisation Original: This results in the reluctance of employers to hire them Suggested revision: This makes employers reluctant to hire them Why it matters: The revised clause expresses the cause-and-effect relationship more directly.
- 9. Avoid excessive certainty Original: will bring about some positive effects Suggested revision: can have positive effects Why it matters: Can appropriately presents these outcomes as possible effects rather than certainties.
- 10. Fix awkward purpose phrase Original: for the sake of their better career prospects Suggested revision: to improve their career prospects Why it matters: This infinitive phrase expresses the intended purpose clearly and naturally.
- 11. Improve collocation Original: contribute to a society of more well-informed and educated citizens Suggested revision: help create a society with more well-informed, educated citizens Why it matters: A society with citizens is the more natural relationship between these nouns.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: Whereas, in terms of people having life experience or personal qualities, these people are likely to lack a suitable amount of academic knowledge in their field, and therefore, they need to be trained for a long time by employers. Suggested revision: By contrast, people whose main strengths are life experience or personal qualities may lack sufficient academic knowledge in their field and therefore require lengthy training from employers. Why it matters: The original uses whereas as a sentence fragment and repeats people awkwardly.
Suggested Rewrites
- more highly appreciated than life experience valued more highly than life experience
- a tool to measure a means of measuring
- the level of knowledge that students are capable of the level of knowledge that students possess
- examinations focusing on testing their knowledge examinations that test their knowledge
- gained acquired
- in the field that the company is looking for in a field relevant to the company's needs
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response’s main strength is its clear position and logical explanation of why employers value qualifications, followed by relevant benefits for students and society. The main weakness is that development relies on broad claims and occasionally imprecise wording, especially when comparing qualified applicants with experienced candidates. The highest-priority improvement is to test these claims with a specific workplace example and express the comparison more accurately.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered directly with a clear positive position and relevant development, though some claims are generalized.
Support the explanation with a concrete recruitment example and acknowledge why qualifications may be a more reliable measure in that context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a clear introduction, reason, effect, and conclusion sequence, with generally effective paragraphing and cohesion.
Integrate contrastive points into complete sentences instead of using an isolated linker such as “Whereas” at the start of a sentence.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows good range for education and recruitment, but several collocations and references are imprecise.
Correct choices such as “employers holding qualifications” and refine vague phrases like “a suitable amount of academic knowledge.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with generally good control, although a few fragments and awkward constructions remain.
Check subordinate clauses and sentence openings so that contrast and purpose structures are grammatically complete and concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.