Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Some people believe that schools should concentrate exclusively on academic achievement and preparing students for exams, leaving practical skills such as cookery, dressmaking, and woodwork to be taught by family or friends. While I acknowledge the importance of academic success, I disagree with the notion that practical skills have no place in the school curriculum.
Firstly, practical skills are essential for students to become self-sufficient and function effectively in everyday life. For example, cooking is not just a domestic task; it teaches nutrition, planning, and budgeting, which are critical for a healthy lifestyle. Similarly, skills like woodwork and dressmaking promote creativity, patience, and problem-solving, qualities that are valuable in both personal and professional contexts. Moreover, integrating practical subjects can benefit students who may not excel in traditional academic areas but possess talents in hands-on fields. Subjects like cookery, woodwork, or dressmaking can help such students build confidence and explore alternative career paths in trades or creative industries.
Moreover, expecting families or friends to teach these skills is not always practical. Not all parents have the time, resources, or expertise to properly instruct their children in these areas. In many cases, students might miss out on learning valuable skills if they rely solely on their family for this type of education. Schools, on the other hand, can provide structured, professional instruction in a controlled environment, ensuring that all students have the opportunity to develop these abilities.
In conclusion, while academic success and exam preparation are undoubtedly important, I believe that schools should strive to provide a well-rounded education that includes both academic and practical knowledge.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve parallel phrasing Original: academic achievement and preparing students for exams Suggested revision: academic achievement and exam preparation Why it matters: Using two noun phrases creates a more balanced and concise coordination.
- 2. Use precise wording Original: critical for a healthy lifestyle Suggested revision: important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle Why it matters: This phrasing states the relationship more accurately and naturally.
- 3. Tighten expression Original: qualities that are valuable in both personal and professional contexts Suggested revision: qualities valuable in both personal and professional contexts Why it matters: Removing the unnecessary relative clause makes the description more concise.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: possess talents in hands-on fields Suggested revision: have strengths in practical fields Why it matters: This is a more natural way to describe students' practical abilities.
- 5. Reduce repetition Original: Subjects like cookery, woodwork, or dressmaking Suggested revision: These practical subjects Why it matters: The reference links back clearly while avoiding repetition of the same examples.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: properly instruct their children in these areas Suggested revision: teach these skills effectively Why it matters: The revision is shorter and uses a more natural verb phrase.
- 7. Match plural reference Original: family Suggested revision: families Why it matters: The plural noun matches the plural subject 'students'.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: concentrate Suggested revision: focus Why it matters: The shorter verb phrase expresses the same idea more directly.
- 9. Use natural phrasing Original: function effectively in everyday life Suggested revision: manage everyday life effectively Why it matters: The revision is a more natural description of practical self-sufficiency.
- 10. Make contrast concise Original: cooking is not just a domestic task Suggested revision: cooking is more than a domestic task Why it matters: This phrasing presents the contrast more smoothly and economically.
- 11. Tighten the clause Original: can help such students build confidence Suggested revision: can build these students' confidence Why it matters: The revision removes unnecessary words without changing the claim.
- 12. Choose precise adjective Original: practical Suggested revision: feasible Why it matters: 'Feasible' more precisely describes whether families can provide this teaching.
Suggested Rewrites
- academic achievement and preparing students for exams academic achievement and exam preparation
- critical for a healthy lifestyle important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle
- qualities that are valuable in both personal and professional contexts qualities valuable in both personal and professional contexts
- possess talents in hands-on fields have strengths in practical fields
- Subjects like cookery, woodwork, or dressmaking These practical subjects
- properly instruct their children in these areas teach these skills effectively
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear, consistent position, supported by well-developed arguments about independence, individual talents, and equal access to instruction. Its main limitation is that some support remains general rather than illustrating the practical outcomes in depth; the highest-priority improvement is to develop one or two points with more specific real-world evidence and sharper analysis of how these subjects complement academic priorities.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly answers the question with a clear position and develops several relevant, well-supported reasons.
Deepen the strongest argument with a more concrete example showing how school-based practical education produces measurable benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and without distracting repetition.
Create an even tighter progression by making the relationship between practical skills and a balanced curriculum explicit at each paragraph's close.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective phrases such as self-sufficient, hands-on fields, and structured instruction.
Refine the response further by replacing a few general terms such as valuable skills and abilities with more context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentence structures is used accurately and naturally, with strong control of punctuation and agreement.
Maintain this control while varying sentence openings slightly more to make the prose rhythm even more flexible.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.