Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. it is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films. Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely? Gives reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples
Sample Response
Movies tend to have a very large influence on young people who are influenced both by what they see and hear. Because this is the case, it is true that car chases in action movies tend to lead to an increase in the number of car accidents among young drivers because they try to copy what they have seen in the films. They drive too fast and take unnecessary risks and the difficulty is that most young people lack the skills and experience to do this. There are a variety of ways in which young people can be encouraged to practise safer driving habits. Firstly, the Government should launch a safe driving campaign to convey the fact that driving safely is not uncool. In effect, it should be cool to stay alive and healthy! Secondly, every movie should make it clear that dangerous car chases are undertaken only in strict safety conditions with experienced drivers, and often special movie-making tricks are used to enhance the action. Thirdly, young people should be forced to take safe driving courses every year for the first five years that they have their driver's licence. In this way, they are forced to perfect their driving skills or their licence will be taken away. Finally, as part of this course, young drivers should go to hospitals and witness the effects of poor or dangerous driving on other people. When they see hospitalised people whose lives have been destroyed due to stupid risk-taking, they will surely change their minds about whether it is cool to copy action heroes and drive fast.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct transition Original: Because this is the case, it is true that Suggested revision: Consequently, Why it matters: This shorter transition removes unnecessary repetition and links the claim directly to the previous point.
- 2. Reduce wordiness Original: tend to lead to an increase in the number of car accidents Suggested revision: can increase the number of car accidents Why it matters: The replacement expresses the same causal claim more concisely.
- 3. Choose precise noun Original: difficulty Suggested revision: danger Why it matters: Danger more accurately describes the risk created by inexperienced drivers.
- 4. Clarify reference Original: do this Suggested revision: take such risks Why it matters: The replacement makes the reference to the preceding risky behaviour explicit.
- 5. Avoid double negative Original: not uncool Suggested revision: socially acceptable Why it matters: The replacement conveys the intended positive message more directly and formally.
- 6. Correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: under Why it matters: Under is the standard preposition used with conditions in this context.
- 7. Clarify time period Original: first five years that they have their driver's licence Suggested revision: first five years after receiving their driver's licence Why it matters: The replacement gives the time relationship in a grammatically natural form.
- 8. Use realistic verb Original: are forced to perfect Suggested revision: must improve Why it matters: Improve is more precise than perfect for the gradual development of driving skills.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: Movies tend to have a very large influence on young people who are influenced both by what they see and hear. Suggested revision: Movies tend to have considerable influence on young people through what they see and hear. Why it matters: This rewrite removes the repeated form of influence while preserving the original claim.
- 10. Separate main stages Suggested revision: Divide the response into an opening position, a paragraph explaining the driving risk, and one or more paragraphs grouping the proposed safety measures. Why it matters: The single-paragraph format obscures the progression from the cause to the sequence of solutions.
Suggested Rewrites
- Because this is the case, it is true that Consequently,
- tend to lead to an increase in the number of car accidents can increase the number of car accidents
- difficulty danger
- do this take such risks
- not uncool socially acceptable
- in under
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both questions directly, sustains a clear position, and offers several relevant, well-explained safety measures in fluent and accurate language. Its main limitation is organisation: presenting the entire argument as one paragraph and relying on a numbered sequence makes the progression feel mechanical. Divide the causes and solutions into focused paragraphs and develop the strongest measures with slightly more specific supporting detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear, both questions are fully addressed, and the proposed measures are relevant and well explained.
Deepen the response by illustrating one or two key measures with more specific real-world consequences or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically, but the single-paragraph format and repeated sequencing markers make the organisation feel mechanical.
Separate the position, causes, and safety measures into focused paragraphs with smoother links between related ideas.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective language for risk, enforcement, and consequences.
Replace informal or repetitive wording such as repeated references to young people and being cool with more consistently formal alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, and errors are rare and non-impeding.
Refine a few long coordinated sentences so that relationships between causes, measures, and results are expressed more concisely.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. it is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films. Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely? Gives reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.