Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. it is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films. Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely?
Sample Response
Movies tend to have a very large influence on young people who are influenced both by what they see and hear. Because this is the case, it is true that car chases in action movies tend to lead to an increase in the number of car accidents among young drivers because they try to copy what they have seen in the films. They drive too fast and take unnecessary risks and the difficulty is that most young people lack the skills and experience to do this.
There are a variety of ways in which young people can be encouraged to practise safer driving habits. Firstly, the Government should launch a safe driving campaign to convey the fact that driving safely is not uncool. In effect, it should be cool to stay alive and healthy! Secondly, every movie should make it clear that dangerous car chases are undertaken only in strict safety conditions with experienced drivers, and often special movie-making tricks are used to enhance the action. Thirdly, young people should be forced to take safe driving courses every year for the first five years that they have their driver’s licence. In this way, they are forced to perfect their driving skills or their licence will be taken away.
Finally, as part of this course, young drivers should go to hospitals and witness the effects of poor or dangerous driving on other people. When they see hospitalised people whose lives have been destroyed due to stupid risk-taking, they will surely change their minds about whether it is cool to copy action heroes and drive fast.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise link Original: Because this is the case Suggested revision: For this reason Why it matters: This connector expresses the causal link more concisely.
- 2. Use lowercase noun Original: Government Suggested revision: government Why it matters: Government is a common noun here and does not require a capital letter.
- 3. Avoid double negative Original: not uncool Suggested revision: socially acceptable Why it matters: A positive academic expression conveys the intended meaning more precisely.
- 4. Improve collocation Original: undertaken only in strict safety conditions Suggested revision: performed under strict safety conditions Why it matters: Performed under is the more natural collocation for staged car chases.
- 5. Use formal wording Original: movie-making tricks Suggested revision: filmmaking techniques Why it matters: Filmmaking techniques is a more precise academic term.
- 6. Clarify time period Original: the first five years that they have their driver’s licence Suggested revision: the first five years after obtaining their driver’s licence Why it matters: The revised phrase expresses the starting point of the period accurately.
- 7. Avoid overstatement Original: perfect Suggested revision: improve Why it matters: Improve is a more realistic and precise verb than perfect.
- 8. Use academic wording Original: stupid risk-taking Suggested revision: reckless driving Why it matters: Reckless driving is more formal and specific than stupid risk-taking.
- 9. Use measured certainty Original: surely change their minds Suggested revision: may reconsider Why it matters: The modal form avoids making an unsupported absolute prediction.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Movies tend to have a very large influence on young people who are influenced both by what they see and hear. Suggested revision: Movies can strongly influence young people through what they see and hear. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repetition of influence while preserving the original claim.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: They drive too fast and take unnecessary risks and the difficulty is that most young people lack the skills and experience to do this. Suggested revision: They drive too fast and take unnecessary risks, even though most young people lack the skills and experience to do so. Why it matters: The concessive link makes the relationship between the risk and the lack of ability clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- Because this is the case For this reason
- Government government
- not uncool socially acceptable
- undertaken only in strict safety conditions performed under strict safety conditions
- movie-making tricks filmmaking techniques
- the first five years that they have their driver’s licence the first five years after obtaining their driver’s licence
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response directly answers both questions, maintains a clear position, and develops a strong set of practical safety measures in a logical sequence. The explanation of how action films cause unsafe driving is comparatively brief, and some wording is repetitive or slightly informal. The highest-priority improvement is to deepen the causal argument with a more specific explanation or example while preserving the essay's clear organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are answered directly, with a clear agreement position and several relevant, well-explained measures for safer driving.
Develop the first part further by explaining more precisely how imitation translates into particular unsafe behaviours or accidents.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from the position to proposed measures, and paragraphing and sequencing make the argument easy to follow.
Reduce reliance on numbered transitions by linking the proposed measures through their distinct purposes and likely effects.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, with effective language for risk, regulation, and consequences despite some repetition and informality.
Replace repeated words such as 'influenced' and 'forced' and avoid conversational phrasing such as 'not uncool.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is used with strong control, and errors are rare and do not impede communication.
Refine punctuation and clause length in the densest sentences to make already accurate structures more concise.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Action movies with spectacular car chases are very popular with young people. it is often said that these sorts of movies lead to an increase in car accidents among young drivers as they try to copy what they have seen in the films. Do you agree that such movies increase the amount of bad driving? What can be done to encourage young people to drive more safely?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.