Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children’s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Many today would argue that the best way to aid in a child’s life skills development is to take part in active pursuits, rather than more passive ones such as reading. I am generally in agreement though reading has become increasingly important in contemporary society.
Those who argue against this contention point to the primacy of reading. In the past, large proportions of the world’s population were illiterate. Today, children must be able to read in order to interact with the world online. It could be argued that reading, and writing by extension, are the two most important life skills children can learn. Without them, children will feel alienated from mainstream culture and not be able to stay in touch with friends and family, apply online for jobs, and do research on the internet.
However, reading skills develop organically for children and there are more critical skills that are often neglected in a technological society. Most people would relate to the experience of watching their grandparents display a wide range of life skills including automotive maintenance, cooking, and sewing. These life skills have diverse applicability. A person who is adept with their hands will be able to handle a variety of household tasks, repairs, and renovations. Moreover, there are less concrete benefits. These activities are likely to make an individual more creative, and physically and mentally healthier. Research has shown that more time spent being active, and less time on devices, improves mood, develops lateral thinking ability, and lessens the risk of chronic anxiety disorders.
In conclusion, despite the centrality of reading due to advances in technology, truly valuable life skills require more active participation. Unfortunately, shifts in society related to technology are likely irreversible.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural phrasing Original: aid in a child’s life skills development Suggested revision: support a child’s development of life skills Why it matters: The revised phrase is a more natural formal collocation.
- 2. Remove the extra comma Original: active pursuits, rather than Suggested revision: active pursuits rather than Why it matters: The comma unnecessarily separates the compared alternatives.
- 3. Clarify the concession Original: in agreement though Suggested revision: in agreement, although Why it matters: Although marks the concession more explicitly and requires the preceding comma.
- 4. Clarify the reference Original: against this contention Suggested revision: who disagree with this view Why it matters: This wording identifies the opposing group without the vague reference this contention.
- 5. Use a singular proportion Original: large proportions of the world’s population Suggested revision: a large proportion of the world’s population Why it matters: A single global share is more naturally expressed with proportion in the singular.
- 6. Improve word order Original: apply online for jobs Suggested revision: apply for jobs online Why it matters: This is the more natural placement of online in this expression.
- 7. Use an active subject Original: reading skills develop organically for children Suggested revision: children develop reading skills organically Why it matters: Making children the subject creates a clearer and more natural clause.
- 8. Use precise wording Original: relate to the experience of watching Suggested revision: be familiar with seeing Why it matters: Relate to the experience is unnecessarily indirect in this context.
- 9. Use a natural collocation Original: diverse applicability Suggested revision: a wide range of applications Why it matters: This phrase is more idiomatic and concrete.
- 10. Correct the collocation Original: adept Suggested revision: skilled Why it matters: Skilled with their hands is the standard expression for practical ability.
- 11. Use fewer with plurals Original: less Suggested revision: fewer Why it matters: Benefits is countable and therefore takes fewer rather than less.
- 12. Remove the list comma Original: creative, and physically Suggested revision: creative and physically Why it matters: No comma is needed between the two coordinated complements.
Suggested Rewrites
- aid in a child’s life skills development support a child’s development of life skills
- active pursuits, rather than active pursuits rather than
- in agreement though in agreement, although
- against this contention who disagree with this view
- large proportions of the world’s population a large proportion of the world’s population
- apply online for jobs apply for jobs online
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response sustains a clear, nuanced position and develops both reading and active skills through relevant, logically sequenced reasoning. Its main limitation is that a few claims, particularly that reading develops organically and that technological shifts are irreversible, are asserted too broadly, while the final observation adds little to the argument. Qualify those claims and end by directly reinforcing why active participation offers the greater overall benefit.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear qualified agreement and well-developed consideration of both reading and active pursuits.
Qualify the broad claims about organic reading development and irreversible technological change to make the reasoning more defensible.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is well organised, with clear paragraph purposes and smoothly managed progression from the counterargument to the writer’s position.
Make the final sentence directly consolidate the comparison instead of introducing a loosely connected observation about social change.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, precise, and flexibly used, with only occasional phrasing that sounds slightly abstract or overstated.
Prefer concrete wording where phrases such as 'diverse applicability' make a straightforward point sound unnecessarily abstract.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few punctuation or coordination lapses do not impede fluency.
Refine punctuation around coordinated items and remove unnecessary commas to achieve more consistently polished control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children’s life skills than time spent reading. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.