An increasing number of students are dropping out of school before completing their education. What are the reasons behind this trend? What can be done to address this issue?
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Sample Response
An increasing number of students are dropping out of school before completing their education. I believe that the trend stems from multiple factors and requires targeted remedies,has both causes and solutions for several reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.paragraphs
There are two causes of students dropping out of school. First, when students face financial difficulties at home, they cannot pay for tuitiontuition fees and books, so they have toand books , they have to leave school to work. This is because poor families do not have enough money for living expenses, forcing teenagers to find jobs early to help their parents. As a result, they can earn an incomemake money for their families, but they cannot finish their education. Second, when students face intense academic pressureheavy study pressure and stress at school, they feel tired and lose interest in studying. Therefore, they choose to quit school early to escape this stressful environment.environment
There are two solutions to address this issue. Firstly , when governments and schools provide financial support and scholarships, they can help poor students, so they do not need to worry about money. This is because authoritiesauthoritie allocate grantsgive money and free books to reduce financial problems for strugglingstruggle families. As a result, students can save money, reduce stress, and continue going to school. Secondly , when schools offer vocational training classes, they can create different learning paths for students. Therefore, students who do not like academic subjects can stay motivated and learn practical skills for future jobsjob
In conclusion, students drop out of school because of financial hardshipmoney problems and heavy study stress. To solve this issue, governments andgovernmentand schools should give financial help and provide vocational classes so students can keep studying and get good jobs in the future.in the future
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay directly answers both parts of the prompt with clear, relevant main points and a logical structure throughout. However, the overuse of formulaic transitional structures and repetitive sentence patterns limits the overall writing quality. To raise the essay standard, focus on varying sentence construction and refining grammatical accuracy with singular/plural subject-verb agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay clearly identifies key causes of school dropouts and offers relevant, plausible solutions for each.
Elaborate more deeply on the explanations rather than relying on brief, simple cause-and-effect chains.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is logical, but linking words and connective phrases are used mechanically across paragraphs.
Vary cohesive devices instead of repeating patterns like 'This is because' and 'As a result' in every paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the topic, though some word choices are basic or copied.
Incorporate a wider variety of topic-specific collocations and avoid copying full sentences directly from the prompt.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence structures is attempted, but recurring grammatical slips and repetitive sub-clause patterns are present.
Proofread for subject-verb agreement and noun plurals while diversifying sentence openings beyond conditional or temporal dependent clauses.