More and more adults are playing computer games. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative trend?
Sample Response
It seems that the current trend involvestrend is for an increasing number of adults to enjoy playing computer games in their free time. As gaming technology developsWith the development of game technology, it is hardly surprising that adults are playing games, but whether it is positive or negative depends on which games are playedthe games played and the time spent on them. In terms of why so many adults are choosing to spend time playing computer games, it is mainly because the technology behind the games is becoming more sophisticated. Initially, when games first came out, they were very simplistic and appealed mainly to children. However, things have moved on since then and games have become visually appealing, very absorbing, require great dexterity and some also have a strategic challenge to them which adults particularly like. Such games can attract professional adults looking to hone tactics and skills to other adults wishing just to relax and switch off. However, whether this trend in adults towards computer games is beneficial is debatableis beneficial or not can be challenged. Some adults use complex, challenging games as a form of escapism which keeps their mindsmind sharp and helps them relax at the same time. As long as the time spent on such games is balanced with other healthier pursuits, this activity can be beneficialit can be constructive. Unfortunately, adults who neglectignore their physical health and spend too much time on mindless, repetitive games develop a sedentary lifestyle which can be detrimental to their wellbeing. In conclusion, computer games have become more fascinating and appealingtempting to adults. While games that help develop strategic skills and knowledgehelp develop tactics and knowledge might be advantageous, no game, particularly senseless games, should be played to excess and certainly should not replace healthier leisure activities.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response addresses both questions directly, sustains a clear qualified position, and develops its ideas with fluent, well-controlled language and logical progression. Its main limitation is that the explanation of why adults play games remains centred almost entirely on technological sophistication, while some phrasing is slightly awkward. The highest-priority improvement is to broaden the causal analysis with another distinct, well-supported reason and refine the few imprecise constructions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are fully addressed through a clear conditional position and relevant, well-developed reasoning.
Broaden the explanation for adult gaming by adding another distinct cause beyond increasingly sophisticated game design.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices and referencing used naturally.
Tighten a few long sentences so each comparison and qualification remains immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
A wide, precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, with only occasional awkward collocation.
Review the few awkward combinations of verbs and complements to make the otherwise sophisticated wording fully natural.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, and the few lapses do not affect clarity.
Polish agreement and parallel structure in the longer sentences to improve grammatical precision.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
More and more adults are playing computer games. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.