According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want excitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Why is this the case? What are the advantages of this trend? Write not less than 250 words.
Sample Response
The concept of a holiday has undergone a significant transformation in recent years, with a shift towards seeking excitement and engaging in unconventional and challenging activities. This essay will explore the reasons behind this changing trend and discuss the advantages and disadvantages associated with it.
Several factors contribute to the increasing preference for excitement and unusual activities during holidays. Firstly, the monotony of daily routines and the pressures of modern life have fueled a desire for escapism and the need to break away from the ordinary. For instance, these days, many people seek new experiences to recharge and rejuvenate themselves, and engaging in exciting activities provides a sense of adventure and a break from the routine.
Secondly, advancements in technology and transportation have made the world more accessible, allowing individuals to explore far-flung destinations and engage in activities that were once considered inaccessible. The ease of travel and the availability of information about unique experiences have expanded people's horizons, inspiring them to seek out thrilling adventures during their holidays.
The trend of seeking excitement and engaging in unusual and challenging activities during holidays brings several advantages. Firstly, it offers an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Trying new activities and pushing one's boundaries fosters a sense of accomplishment, boosts self-confidence, and enhances personal development. For instance, it is evident that by stepping out of one's comfort zone and embracing new experiences, individuals gain a deeper understanding of their capabilities, develop resilience, and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery.
Additionally, engaging in thrilling experiences can create lasting memories and provide a sense of fulfilment and happiness. For instance, embarking on an exhilarating skydiving adventure can create lasting memories and provide a profound sense of fulfillment and happiness. Soaring through the sky, feeling the rush of adrenaline, and experiencing the breathtaking views during freefall leave an indelible mark on one's memory.
In conclusion, the changing nature of holidays, with a focus on excitement and engaging in unusual and challenging activities, is driven by a desire for escapism, advancements in technology, and the availability of information about unique experiences. This trend offers different advantages such as personal growth and a sense of fulfilment.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundancy Original: this changing trend Suggested revision: this trend Why it matters: A trend already implies change, so “changing” is redundant.
- 2. Make the nouns parallel Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: Repeating the indefinite article creates a balanced pair of noun phrases.
- 3. Remove the redundant marker Original: For instance, these days, Suggested revision: For instance, Why it matters: “These days” is unnecessary because the essay has already established the current time frame.
- 4. Avoid semantic repetition Original: recharge and rejuvenate themselves Suggested revision: recharge Why it matters: “Recharge” and “rejuvenate” express almost the same idea in this context.
- 5. Use the natural phrase Original: a break from the routine Suggested revision: a break from routine Why it matters: The general expression normally uses “routine” without the definite article.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: advancements Suggested revision: advances Why it matters: “Advances” is the more concise conventional noun in this collocation.
- 7. Remove empty framing Original: it is evident that by Suggested revision: by Why it matters: Removing the unnecessary framing makes the example more direct.
- 8. Keep spelling consistent Original: fulfillment Suggested revision: fulfilment Why it matters: The essay otherwise uses British spelling, so this form should be consistent.
- 9. Use a general plural Original: the breathtaking views Suggested revision: breathtaking views Why it matters: The bare plural is more appropriate because no specific views have been identified.
- 10. Use precise enumeration Original: different advantages such as Suggested revision: several advantages, including Why it matters: The revised phrase introduces the examples more naturally and precisely.
- 11. Reduce repeated benefit wording Suggested revision: Combine the general claim about lasting memories and happiness with the skydiving example, then retain the sensory details as support. Why it matters: The first two sentences repeat the same benefits almost verbatim before the paragraph moves to specific illustration.
Suggested Rewrites
- this changing trend this trend
- the a
- For instance, these days, For instance,
- recharge and rejuvenate themselves recharge
- a break from the routine a break from routine
- advancements advances
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay fully explains why travellers seek challenging holidays and develops clear benefits through relevant reasoning and a vivid skydiving example. Its strongest feature is the logical, fluent progression from modern pressures and accessibility to growth, resilience, and lasting memories. The main limitation is repetition, particularly in the final advantage paragraph, and the introduction unnecessarily promises disadvantages. Prioritise tighter phrasing and ensure the stated essay scope exactly matches the question.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both reasons and advantages are fully addressed with developed explanation and relevant illustration, though the introduction inaccurately promises discussion of disadvantages.
State only that the essay will examine reasons and advantages, and make the technology-and-transport reason slightly more specific with one concrete change.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is well paragraphed and progresses smoothly from two causes to two benefits and a concise conclusion, with minor repetition in the final body paragraph.
Remove the repeated claim about lasting memories before the skydiving illustration so the example advances rather than restates the point.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and natural across travel, motivation, personal growth, and emotional experience, with only limited repetition.
Vary repeated expressions such as ‘excitement’, ‘unusual and challenging activities’, ‘lasting memories’, and ‘sense of fulfilment’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with very few errors and consistently clear communication.
As a final refinement, streamline heavily coordinated lists and maintain one spelling convention for ‘fulfilment’ throughout.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want excitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Why is this the case? What are the advantages of this trend? Write not less than 250 words.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.