Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Advertising is everywhere; from the television, we watch to the internet we browse, and from the billboards on the streets to the magazines we read. Some people argue that advertising has a significant impact on our decision-making process, while others claim that it has no real effect. In this essay, we will examine both views. However, my opinion on this is that adverts have significant impacts on our purchasing and decision-making process.
On the one hand, some people argue that advertising has little or no real impact on our decision-making process. They claim that we are not easily influenced by advertisements and that we make rational decisions based on our needs and budget. For example, a person who needs to buy a new refrigerator will look for the features, price, and quality of the product before making a purchase, regardless of how much it is advertised. Moreover, they argue that the impact of advertising is short-lived and that people quickly forget about the products they see in advertisements.
On the other hand, many people believe that advertising plays a crucial role in our decision-making process. They argue that advertisements influence our choices by creating a desire for products we often need and sometimes do not need. For instance, the advertisement of an expensive sports car can create a desire to own it, even though the person may not require it. Advertisements can also create a sense of urgency to buy a product by offering time-limited deals or by making it seem as though the product is in high demand. Consequently, advertising can have a strong effect on our decision-making process by manipulating our emotions and desires.
In my opinion, advertising can influence our decisions by creating a desire for products or services we may or may not need. And the impact of advertising may often be long-lasting, and we may remember what we see in advertisements because they create a desire in our subconscious mind.
In conclusion, advertising can have a strong impact on our decision-making process and allure us to buy more and more products. So, it is essential to be aware of the power of advertising and to make informed decisions based on our needs and budget.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use direct phrasing Original: my opinion on this is that Suggested revision: I believe that Why it matters: This direct phrase expresses the opinion more concisely.
- 2. Use singular impact Original: significant impacts Suggested revision: a significant impact Why it matters: The uncountable singular form is more natural for the general effect of advertising.
- 3. Correct verb choice Original: look for the features, price, and quality of the product Suggested revision: consider the product's features, price, and quality Why it matters: Consider accurately describes evaluating these factors before a purchase.
- 4. Clarify advertising intensity Original: much Suggested revision: heavily Why it matters: Heavily precisely describes the intensity of advertising.
- 5. Correct preposition Original: the advertisement of an expensive sports car Suggested revision: an advertisement for an expensive sports car Why it matters: An advertisement for a product is the standard collocation.
- 6. Use natural verb Original: require Suggested revision: need Why it matters: Need is the natural verb when referring to whether someone has use for a product.
- 7. Correct verb pattern Original: allure Suggested revision: entice Why it matters: Entice naturally takes an object followed by a to-infinitive in this context.
- 8. Use formal phrasing Original: more and more products Suggested revision: an increasing number of products Why it matters: This phrase conveys the increase in a more precise academic register.
- 9. Use formal transition Original: So Suggested revision: Therefore Why it matters: Therefore makes the concluding inference more explicit and appropriately formal.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Advertising is everywhere; from the television, we watch to the internet we browse, and from the billboards on the streets to the magazines we read. Suggested revision: Advertising is everywhere, from the television we watch and the internet we browse to the billboards on the streets and the magazines we read. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the incorrect semicolon and comma while creating a clear parallel structure.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: They argue that advertisements influence our choices by creating a desire for products we often need and sometimes do not need. Suggested revision: They argue that advertisements influence our choices by creating a desire for products, whether or not we need them. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the awkward contrast and expresses the intended distinction clearly.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: And the impact of advertising may often be long-lasting, and we may remember what we see in advertisements because they create a desire in our subconscious mind. Suggested revision: The impact of advertising may also be long-lasting, as we may remember what we see in advertisements because they create desire in our subconscious minds. Why it matters: The rewrite removes repetitive coordination and corrects agreement between the plural pronoun and minds.
Suggested Rewrites
- my opinion on this is that I believe that
- significant impacts a significant impact
- look for the features, price, and quality of the product consider the product's features, price, and quality
- much heavily
- the advertisement of an expensive sports car an advertisement for an expensive sports car
- require need
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response clearly addresses both views, maintains a consistent opinion, and uses relevant examples within a logical paragraph structure. Its main limitation is that several ideas are explained in fairly predictable terms and key vocabulary about advertising, desire, and decision-making is repeated, while a few awkward constructions reduce polish; deeper analysis of how advertising competes with rational consumer judgment, supported by more precise phrasing, would strengthen it most.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views and a clear personal position are addressed with relevant explanations and examples, though the analysis remains somewhat straightforward.
Develop the opinion more deeply by explaining why advertising often outweighs rational considerations rather than mainly restating its influence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through clearly focused paragraphs, although some transitions and the separate opinion paragraph feel formulaic.
Integrate the personal evaluation more naturally into the discussion and vary the links between related claims.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied and generally appropriate, but repeated key terms and awkward choices such as 'allure us' limit precision.
Use more precise consumer-behaviour vocabulary and replace repeated references to desire and decision-making with accurate alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used with generally good control, despite occasional punctuation and phrasing problems.
Proofread long coordinated sentences to remove unnecessary commas, awkward openings, and combinations such as 'may often'.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.