Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
There have been opposing views concerning advertisements. While some people claim that it can be beneficial for businesses, others opine that advertising is detrimental to individuals. In my opinion, both ideas are correct to a certain extent.
On the one hand, advertising has long been used by business owners as a great tool to boost sales. Advertisements can give new products recognition and help educate first-time buyers. This means that it can introduce innovative services that have never existed before to the public, or partly guide clueless consumers who have never purchased a product before on its range and qualities. A prime example of this is Nike’s “Just Do It” campaign. In the old days, Nike’s products catered mostly to athletes, but in the late 1980s, Nike created this campaign to introduce its shoes to the masses. The effort was successful in helping Nike tap into a new demographic and in yielding never-before-seen profits for the brand.
On the other hand, advertisements have undeniable negative effects on human’s psyche. Advertising’s core mission is to keep customers informed, however, this is a double-edged sword, as new yearnings are also created, preventing people from being satisfied with what they have and boosting consumerism culture. As individuals are bombarded with advertisements which state that they need something new to better their life, depreciation of their existing assets will appear. For well-off people, life will become a constant race to possess the next ground-breaking products, while for less fortunate ones, they will unconsciously suffer from feelings of inferiority due to not having what is considered good - as stated on advertisements. These are unhealthy modes of living that people should not have to experience.
All in all, whether advertising is advantageous or not depends on the standpoint. For companies, it can provide great assistance to generate more profits, whereas for individuals, advertisements can affect their thinking adversely.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use broader topic term Original: concerning advertisements Suggested revision: about advertising Why it matters: Advertising names the general practice more naturally than the plural advertisements here.
- 2. Fix pronoun reference Original: it Suggested revision: advertising Why it matters: The singular pronoun does not agree with the preceding plural noun advertisements.
- 3. Describe views precisely Original: both ideas are correct Suggested revision: both views have merit Why it matters: Views can have merit, whereas calling broad perspectives correct is overly absolute.
- 4. Use academic wording Original: a great tool Suggested revision: an effective tool Why it matters: Effective states the tool's practical value more precisely than great.
- 5. Fix the collocation Original: give new products recognition Suggested revision: raise awareness of new products Why it matters: Raise awareness of is the natural collocation for making products known.
- 6. Use concise time marker Original: In the old days Suggested revision: Previously Why it matters: Previously is more concise and appropriately formal for this historical contrast.
- 7. Clarify the marketing claim Original: catered mostly to athletes Suggested revision: were marketed mainly to athletes Why it matters: The passive phrase states more precisely how the products were directed at that group.
- 8. Use campaign collocation Original: created Suggested revision: launched Why it matters: Campaigns are conventionally launched rather than created in this context.
- 9. Improve parallel phrasing Original: and in yielding never-before-seen profits Suggested revision: and generating unprecedented profits Why it matters: The revision is more concise and parallels helping more smoothly.
- 10. Fix the noun phrase Original: human’s psyche Suggested revision: the human psyche Why it matters: The established general expression uses the definite article rather than a singular possessive.
- 11. Fix comma splice Original: informed, however, Suggested revision: informed; however, Why it matters: A semicolon is needed before however because it joins two independent clauses.
- 12. Use direct wording Original: new yearnings are also created Suggested revision: it also creates new desires Why it matters: The active construction is clearer and new desires is more natural in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- concerning advertisements about advertising
- it advertising
- both ideas are correct both views have merit
- a great tool an effective tool
- give new products recognition raise awareness of new products
- In the old days Previously
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response handles both viewpoints directly, sustains a clear nuanced opinion, and uses a well-chosen Nike example to develop the economic case. Its main limitation is uneven lexical and grammatical control, with several awkward collocations and agreement or punctuation errors making parts of the social-effects discussion less natural. The highest-priority improvement is to replace imprecise phrases with idiomatic alternatives and edit long sentences for cleaner clause boundaries.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both views are explored in depth and the response maintains a clear, qualified opinion that is supported throughout.
Clarify the final judgment slightly by stating more explicitly how the competing economic and social effects should be weighed overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically organized into focused paragraphs, and its contrasting lines of argument progress clearly.
Break up the longest sentence in the social-effects paragraph to make the sequence of consequences easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates good range and some effective precision, but several collocations are awkward or inaccurate.
Replace phrases such as consumerism culture, better their life, and depreciation of their existing assets with more idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is used successfully, although agreement, possessive, and punctuation errors recur without obscuring meaning.
Check pronoun agreement and clause boundaries carefully, especially around plural subjects and conjunctive adverbs such as however.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people say advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.