Almost every successful company is using advertisements to increase their sales. What features make an advertisement effective? Is advertising good or bad for the society? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Sample Response
The advertisement is the form of television & radio commercials, billboards, wall paintings, classified ads in newspapers, online ads and so on have changed the way products are marketed now. Advertisement plays a key role to change the mindset and is instrumental in increasing the profit margin of different industries. This essay will analyse attributes that make an advertisement successful and will provide an opinion on its merits and demerits to the society.
The effectiveness of an advertisement depends on myriad factors. Primarily, they should be competitive in the pricing structure of what others are offering. Advertisements should be very close to consumer expectations and its core features and other attributes should be appealing and convincing. Moreover, it should contain a very strong theme and unique message that put potential customers on their toes and they mark them in their grocery list. For instance, the advertisements of Coca-Cola are well known for their unique commercials where the same product is marketed using different themes and sensational ideas. Furthermore, the cast and location of the ads are of equal importance, ads having superstars brings more value to the product and helps to improve the quality of the advertisement. Apart from that companies also announce different pricing schemes that attract the buyers and increase their sales.
Advertisements have both positive and negative impact on the society and it largely depends on the people how they adapt to it. Advertisements are vital in introducing new products which customers might be looking for. They aid consumers in making a quick comparative analysis based on the features and price tags which help them to either buy of reject a product. Demerits are that they result in extra expense which an individual has not planned for. Numerous ads of the products having more or less same features distract people easily. Moreover, they are aimed to rip off pockets of consumers than to provide true value for money.
To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides several plausible points on the effectiveness of ads and their impact on the society. In my opinion, ads are not good or bad by itself, it depends on consumers how they take it forward.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use the activity noun Original: Advertisement plays Suggested revision: Advertising plays Why it matters: The sentence refers to the activity in general, so the uncountable noun “advertising” is required.
- 2. Fix preposition pattern Original: a key role to change Suggested revision: a key role in changing Why it matters: The standard pattern is “play a role in” followed by a gerund.
- 3. Use plural margins Original: profit margin of different industries Suggested revision: profit margins in different industries Why it matters: Multiple industries have multiple margins, and “in” gives the correct relationship.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: demerits to the society Suggested revision: disadvantages for society Why it matters: “Disadvantages for society” is the natural formal expression here.
- 5. Use precise wording Original: close to consumer expectations Suggested revision: aligned with consumer expectations Why it matters: “Aligned with” more precisely expresses correspondence with consumers' expectations.
- 6. Fix pronoun agreement Original: its core features Suggested revision: their core features Why it matters: The possessive pronoun must agree with the plural noun “Advertisements.”
- 7. Add parallel article Original: a very strong theme and unique message Suggested revision: a strong theme and a unique message Why it matters: Both singular countable items need an article in this coordination.
- 8. Correct the idiom Original: put potential customers on their toes Suggested revision: capture potential customers' attention Why it matters: “Keep someone on their toes” has a different meaning from attracting attention.
- 9. Clarify the reference Original: they mark them in their grocery list Suggested revision: prompt them to add the products to their shopping lists Why it matters: The revision makes both pronoun references clear and uses the natural expression “add to a shopping list.”
- 10. Use precise relative form Original: commercials where Suggested revision: commercials in which Why it matters: “In which” more precisely links the marketing action to the commercials.
- 11. Add linking comma Original: Apart from that companies Suggested revision: Apart from that, companies Why it matters: The introductory linking phrase should be followed by a comma.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: the buyers Suggested revision: buyers Why it matters: The noun refers to buyers in general, so no definite article is needed.
Suggested Rewrites
- Advertisement plays Advertising plays
- a key role to change a key role in changing
- profit margin of different industries profit margins in different industries
- demerits to the society disadvantages for society
- close to consumer expectations aligned with consumer expectations
- its core features their core features
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses the requested features, weighs benefits against drawbacks, and maintains a clear, nuanced viewpoint that advertising’s value depends on consumer response. Its main weakness is that several claims are only briefly explained or blur product pricing with advertisement quality, while frequent awkward phrasing limits precision. Prioritise developing fewer, clearly relevant features and expressing each cause-and-effect relationship in accurate sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
All parts of the task are answered with a consistent viewpoint and generally relevant examples, although some ideas remain broad or partially developed.
Distinguish advertising features from product offers and explain more fully how each selected feature changes audience behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and thematic progression are clear, with generally appropriate linking despite occasional crowded sentences.
Strengthen progression within body paragraphs by separating distinct points and linking each example explicitly to its controlling idea.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of advertising vocabulary, but inaccurate collocations and word choices occur repeatedly.
Use more precise combinations for consumer behaviour and social impact, avoiding phrases such as ‘rip off pockets’ and ‘put customers on their toes’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There is a useful range of sentence forms, but agreement, pronoun reference, articles, prepositions, and comma splices are recurrent.
Check subject-verb and pronoun agreement first, then separate independent clauses rather than joining them only with commas.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Almost every successful company is using advertisements to increase their sales. What features make an advertisement effective? Is advertising good or bad for the society? What is your viewpoint on this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.