Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Nowadays, people are confronted with advertisements of all kinds on a daily basis. Some people believe this has both positive and negative impacts on our lives, and personally, I completely agree with such viewpoint.
People in the modern world come into contact with advertisements almost everywhere, from online commercials, to banners displayed on crowded streets. Frequent exposure to advertisments of the same, or similar types of products, helps consumers make a clear comparison of certain aspects of the product, such as function or price, before deciding which items are suitable for their needs. For instance, thanks to the commercials of Iphone X and Samsung Galaxy S10, people wishing to purchase a smartphone can easily weigh up the pros and cons of these two products, and then choose the right one that serves their demand. ( 1)
However, widespread advertising can also have some negative consequences that are worthy of consideration. First, the information delivered in advertisements is not always accurate, as many companies exaggerate the features of their products in order to draw attention from the public. As a result, consumers are likely to receive products of much lower quality than advertised. Second, the heavy cost of producing a range of advertisments can raise the market price of many products, meaning that people will have to pay more money to buy an item that they want.
In conclusion, the fact that advertisements of all types surround people can influence their lives in both positive and negative ways, and companies should consider giving the accurate information, and reduce their budgets for advertising to mitigate the drawbacks mentioned above. (2)
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add correct determiner Original: such Suggested revision: this Why it matters: The singular countable noun needs a natural demonstrative determiner here.
- 2. Remove list comma Original: commercials, to banners Suggested revision: commercials to banners Why it matters: A comma should not separate the two endpoints of the from-to construction.
- 3. Correct spelling Original: advertisments Suggested revision: advertisements Why it matters: The word advertisements is misspelled.
- 4. Remove unnecessary comma Original: the same, or similar types Suggested revision: the same or similar types Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates coordinated alternatives.
- 5. Use plural reference Original: product Suggested revision: products Why it matters: The comparison concerns multiple advertised products, so the noun should be plural.
- 6. Match plural products Original: function or price Suggested revision: functions or prices Why it matters: Plural nouns better match the comparison of multiple products.
- 7. Correct product name Original: Iphone Suggested revision: iPhone Why it matters: The brand's product name requires this capitalization.
- 8. Fix collocation Original: serves their demand Suggested revision: meets their needs Why it matters: Meets their needs is the natural collocation for a suitable product.
- 9. Delete stray marker Original: ( 1) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained marker interrupts the paragraph and does not contribute to the argument.
- 10. Fix attention collocation Original: draw attention from the public Suggested revision: attract the public's attention Why it matters: Attract attention is the standard collocation for gaining public notice.
- 11. Correct spelling Original: advertisments Suggested revision: advertisements Why it matters: The word advertisements is misspelled.
- 12. Use concise wording Original: on a daily basis Suggested revision: every day Why it matters: Every day conveys the same meaning more concisely.
Suggested Rewrites
- such this
- commercials, to banners commercials to banners
- advertisments advertisements
- the same, or similar types the same or similar types
- product products
- function or price functions or prices
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear organization and its relevant explanation of both benefits and drawbacks of advertising. Its main limitation is that the stated position addresses whether advertising has both kinds of impact rather than clearly answering the requested extent of agreement with its positive impact. The highest priority is to establish and maintain a direct degree-of-agreement position throughout the essay.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Relevant positive and negative effects are developed, but the position does not directly answer the extent-of-agreement question.
State a precise degree of agreement with the claimed positive impact and make each main paragraph support that position.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through a clear introduction, two focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Make the conclusion synthesize the argument more directly instead of adding recommendations that are only briefly developed.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary supports precise discussion, although spelling and collocation lapses reduce control.
Improve collocations and word forms such as consumer needs, advertising costs, and accurate information.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used effectively, but recurring article, punctuation, and preposition errors remain noticeable.
Edit complex sentences for unnecessary commas and check article and preposition choices systematically.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising has a positive impact on our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.