Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.
Sample Response
We are constantly surrounded by advertising, from television commercials, radio advertisement or billboards to posters on the roads. People have different views about the effects of advertising on our lives. In my opinion, there are both positive and negative impacts of advertising.
There are two main reasons why it could be argued that advertising has several benefits on our lives. Firstly, advertising plays an important role in the economy. Companies need to tell consumers about their products and services. Advertising informs us about the choices we have and the use of the products. For example, Kelling ' cornflakes have a variety of flavours for different ranges to offer for different age groups and now also for people want to lose weight, thus giving consumers different choice to select from. So, without advertising, we would have fewer choices.
Secondly, advertising is a creative industry that employs many people, therefore providing jobs opportunities and income for many people. So, without advertising, there would be higher unemployment rate.
On the other hand, it is understandable why some people might think that advertising is a negative part of our lives. One problem is that advertisers often aim their marketing at the young age groups. Children, for instance, can easily be influenced by advertisements. So this put pressure on their parents to buy them things by pestering and nagging. Another problem is that many advertisements manipulate people too badly. Capturing the minds of consumers is the main intention of the advertisements. Thus by persuading people that buying a product will make them happier and with higher social status.
In conclusion, there are convincing arguments both for and against advertising, but I believe there are both positive and negative aspects of advertising. And I recommended that Advertising should be regulated and advertisements which aimed at children should be controlled or even banned.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix list structure Original: from television commercials, radio advertisement or billboards to posters on the roads Suggested revision: including television commercials, radio advertisements, billboards and roadside posters Why it matters: “Including” introduces the examples clearly, and the coordinated count nouns should all be plural.
- 2. Reduce wordiness Original: why it could be argued that Suggested revision: why Why it matters: The reporting phrase is unnecessary because the sentence directly presents the reasons.
- 3. Fix collocation Original: benefits on our lives Suggested revision: beneficial effects on our lives Why it matters: The natural expression is “effects on our lives”, not “benefits on our lives”.
- 4. Use concise wording Original: the choices we have Suggested revision: our available choices Why it matters: The revision expresses the same idea more compactly.
- 5. Clarify meaning Original: the use of the products Suggested revision: how to use products Why it matters: This wording clearly conveys that advertisements explain product use.
- 6. Show result precisely Original: therefore providing Suggested revision: thereby providing Why it matters: “Thereby” more precisely links employment in the industry to the resulting opportunities and income.
- 7. Use noun modifier Original: jobs opportunities Suggested revision: job opportunities Why it matters: A noun used attributively is normally singular, so “job” modifies “opportunities”.
- 8. Add missing article Original: higher unemployment rate Suggested revision: a higher unemployment rate Why it matters: The singular countable noun phrase requires the article “a”.
- 9. Name target naturally Original: at the young age groups Suggested revision: at young people Why it matters: Marketing is aimed at people, whereas “the young age groups” is unnatural in this context.
- 10. Use precise adverbial Original: too badly Suggested revision: in harmful ways Why it matters: “In harmful ways” states the negative manner of manipulation more clearly.
- 11. Avoid exaggerated wording Original: Capturing the minds of consumers Suggested revision: Influencing consumers Why it matters: “Influencing consumers” conveys the intended idea in a more precise formal register.
- 12. Use natural collocation Original: main intention Suggested revision: primary aim Why it matters: “Primary aim” is a more natural and concise formal collocation.
Suggested Rewrites
- from television commercials, radio advertisement or billboards to posters on the roads including television commercials, radio advertisements, billboards and roadside posters
- why it could be argued that why
- benefits on our lives beneficial effects on our lives
- the choices we have our available choices
- the use of the products how to use products
- therefore providing thereby providing
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear coverage of both sides through relevant points about consumer choice, employment, pressure on children, and manipulation. Its main limitation is frequent grammatical and lexical inaccuracy, which weakens examples and occasionally leaves sentences incomplete. The highest priority is to express fewer points in fully controlled sentences, especially when explaining how advertising affects parents, purchasing behaviour, happiness, and social status.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both positive and negative views are relevantly developed and the writer offers a qualified opinion, though some supporting explanations remain general or incomplete.
Explain why regulation is the preferred response and connect it explicitly to the identified harms involving children and manipulation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses a clear paragraph structure and moves logically between benefits and drawbacks, but several links are mechanical and one short paragraph interrupts balance.
Group the two benefits within one developed body paragraph and replace repeated ‘So’ openings with more precise logical connections.
Lexical Resource
There is adequate topic vocabulary for advertising and its effects, but frequent collocational and word-choice errors reduce accuracy.
Use natural phrases such as ‘benefits in our lives’, ‘job opportunities’, ‘target young audiences’, and ‘raise their social status’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied structures, but frequent agreement, article, plural, relative-clause, and sentence-fragment errors affect control.
Ensure every sentence has a complete main clause and proofread forms such as ‘this puts’, ‘a higher unemployment rate’, and ‘advertisements aimed at children’.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Advertising is all around us; it is an unavoidable part of everyone's life. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.