In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Sample Response
Brands often promote their products as innovative and novel. They primarily do so to attract more customers and increase their sales. This has some drawbacks as well as some merits. But in my opinion, any effort, on the part of businesses, to describe their products or services in a new light should be considered a positive thing because, without such practices, we would not be able to know about many of the necessary products and services that we use today.
The obvious reason for this trend is that all businesses want to boost their sales and revenues. But, unfortunately, increasing sales and revenues is not always as easy as it may sound, especially, when they are operating in a very fiercely competitive market. And that is exactly why they need to employ innovative advertising ideas and business strategies to show their prospective customers that their products indeed are “something new” and offer better values for the prices they pay.
Advertising products as new or innovative is a positive development and indeed needed because it helps businesses and companies reach and attract a larger customer base from different lifestyles, cultural backgrounds, professions, ages, races and religions. In other words, we all are different, with different tastes and preferences, and therefore it is only natural that businesses would want to target each group of these customers with different and unique messages in order to showcase and identify their products as something “new”. Moreover, such strategies employed by businesses bring positive results to many consumers because, the majority of the customers today, if not all, expect more out of their life.
In conclusion, to keep customers on board and enhance sales businesses often advertise their products and services as innovative and new. It helps both customers to satisfy their more-than-life expectations as consumers while also bringing in more revenue to businesses.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove intrusive commas Original: any effort, on the part of businesses, Suggested revision: any effort on the part of businesses Why it matters: The commas unnecessarily interrupt the link between the noun and its modifying phrase.
- 2. Remove incorrect comma Original: because, without such practices Suggested revision: because without such practices Why it matters: A comma should not separate the conjunction from the dependent phrase it introduces.
- 3. Remove incorrect comma Original: especially, when they are operating Suggested revision: especially when they are operating Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the adverb from the clause it modifies.
- 4. Use natural intensifier Original: very fiercely competitive Suggested revision: highly competitive Why it matters: Highly competitive is the more natural collocation for describing a market.
- 5. Correct value phrase Original: better values for the prices they pay Suggested revision: better value for the price they pay Why it matters: Value is normally uncountable in this expression, and the singular price fits each purchase.
- 6. Clarify customer composition Original: from different lifestyles, cultural backgrounds Suggested revision: made up of people with different lifestyles and cultural backgrounds Why it matters: A customer base consists of people with characteristics rather than coming from lifestyles.
- 7. Use concise collocation Original: target each group of these customers Suggested revision: target each customer group Why it matters: Customer group expresses the intended category more directly and naturally.
- 8. Use accurate verb Original: showcase and identify their products as Suggested revision: present their products as Why it matters: Identify does not naturally describe how a business portrays its own product in advertising.
- 9. Remove incorrect comma Original: because, the majority of the customers today Suggested revision: because the majority of customers today Why it matters: The comma cannot separate because from the clause it introduces, and the generic noun needs no article.
- 10. Use plural agreement Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural possessive their requires the plural noun lives in this general statement.
- 11. Mark introductory phrase Original: enhance sales businesses often advertise Suggested revision: enhance sales, businesses often advertise Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory purpose phrase to separate it from the main clause.
- 12. Avoid redundant adjectives Original: innovative and novel Suggested revision: innovative Why it matters: Innovative and novel convey nearly the same idea, so one precise adjective is sufficient.
Suggested Rewrites
- any effort, on the part of businesses, any effort on the part of businesses
- because, without such practices because without such practices
- especially, when they are operating especially when they are operating
- very fiercely competitive highly competitive
- better values for the prices they pay better value for the price they pay
- from different lifestyles, cultural backgrounds made up of people with different lifestyles and cultural backgrounds
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response has a clear position, a logical structure, and enough language range to explain businesses' commercial motivation effectively. Its main limitation is that the claimed consumer benefits remain rather general and repetitive, so the positive judgment is less convincing than it could be. The highest-priority improvement is to develop one precise consumer-focused example while replacing awkward or inflated phrases with more natural wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with a clear positive position, although the consumer-benefit argument is somewhat general and repetitive.
Develop the positive impact through a specific example showing how emphasis on genuine innovation helps consumers make better choices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through the cause, evaluation, and conclusion, with clear paragraph purposes and generally effective linking.
Reduce repetitive restatement and make the transition from business motives to consumer benefits more direct.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary communicates the argument clearly, despite several awkward collocations and inflated expressions.
Use more natural combinations such as value for money and higher expectations instead of strained phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally secure control, though punctuation and a few sentence constructions are imperfect.
Check comma placement and parallel structures carefully, especially in long sentences containing multiple clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.