In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
Sample Response
The growing affordability of fast food is becoming prevalent in many parts of the world. I believe that the drawbacks of the ubiquity of convenience food outweigh the benefits it offers because although it proves to be an easily affordable food choice for lower-income families, these foods cause severe damage to health.
The main advantage of this phenomenon is the accessibility and convenience. The economical fast food makes it easily accessible to a generous portion of the population, especially those with meagre earnings. This, in fact, offers lower-income households an economy and convenient meal options, particularly those who lack access to costly food choices or face time constraints on home meal preparation. Single parents, for example, may seem it is highly convenient and economical to resort to a prompt and cost-effective fast food meal for their family after a hectic day.
One considerable drawback of the affordability and prevalence of convenience food is that it can negatively impact health. The prevalent and affordable nature of junk food tends to drive individuals to frequent intake, thereby causing detrimental effects on health. This means that regular intake of fast food poses a grave risk of various diseases, such as obesity, diabetes and other non-communicable diseases. A study conducted in India revealed that regularly consuming fast food could have a negative effect on insulin sensitivity, and therefore poses an increased risk of type 2 diabetes. Fast food has also been proven to be the underlying cause of various mental diseases, including insomnia, depression, and anxiety.
To conclude, although it is a good thing that lower-income groups have easy access to affordable meal options, I think the diseases caused by consuming fast food frequently prove to be much more disadvantageous for individuals.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove the unnecessary article Original: the accessibility and convenience Suggested revision: accessibility and convenience Why it matters: The two abstract nouns are used generally and do not require “the.”
- 2. Use the intended adjective Original: The economical fast food Suggested revision: Low-cost fast food Why it matters: “Economical” usually describes something that saves money in use, while “low-cost” describes cheap food.
- 3. Remove the faulty causative Original: makes it easily accessible Suggested revision: is easily accessible Why it matters: The subject is fast food itself, so the sentence needs a linking verb rather than “makes it.”
- 4. Use the statistical collocation Original: a generous portion of the population Suggested revision: a large proportion of the population Why it matters: “Large proportion” is the standard expression for a sizeable share of a population.
- 5. Use a direct income phrase Original: meagre earnings Suggested revision: low incomes Why it matters: This phrasing connects more directly to the discussion of lower-income households.
- 6. Correct the verb pattern Original: may seem it is Suggested revision: may find it Why it matters: People “find it convenient”; “seem it is” is not a grammatical verb pattern.
- 7. Use a neutral verb Original: resort to Suggested revision: choose Why it matters: “Resort to” implies an undesirable last option, while this sentence presents convenience as an advantage.
- 8. Use natural meal wording Original: a prompt and cost-effective fast food meal Suggested revision: a quick, cost-effective fast-food meal Why it matters: “Quick” is natural for meal preparation, and “fast-food” should be hyphenated before a noun.
- 9. Match the plural subject Original: family Suggested revision: families Why it matters: The plural subject “single parents” refers to multiple families.
- 10. Use precise availability terms Original: The prevalent and affordable nature Suggested revision: The widespread availability and low cost Why it matters: The revised nouns express how common and inexpensive the food is more naturally.
- 11. Use a consumption collocation Original: drive individuals to frequent intake Suggested revision: encourage individuals to consume it frequently Why it matters: People consume food; they are not driven “to intake.”
- 12. Reduce wordiness Original: detrimental effects on health Suggested revision: harm to health Why it matters: The concise noun phrase expresses the same negative consequence.
Suggested Rewrites
- the accessibility and convenience accessibility and convenience
- The economical fast food Low-cost fast food
- makes it easily accessible is easily accessible
- a generous portion of the population a large proportion of the population
- meagre earnings low incomes
- may seem it is may find it
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay gives a clear and consistent outweigh judgment, develops affordability and convenience as the main benefit, and supports the stronger health case with specific risks and an example. Its main limitation is frequent imprecision in otherwise varied vocabulary, with several phrases sounding forced, while the comparison could be made more explicit. Prioritise natural collocations and directly explain why severe long-term health costs outweigh short-term savings and convenience.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and both sides are relevantly developed, with particularly substantial support for the health disadvantage.
Make the weighing explicit by comparing the temporary financial benefit with the severity and duration of the health consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and logical progression guide the reader from position to advantage, disadvantage, and conclusion with generally effective cohesion.
Reduce repetitive cause-and-effect transitions in the health paragraph and use one concise chain from consumption to disease.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates range and topic awareness, but recurring collocational errors such as economical fast food, generous portion, and prompt meal limit precision.
Use natural phrases such as inexpensive fast food, a large proportion of people, and a quick meal.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is mostly controlled, although article, word-form, agreement, and clause-pattern errors occur occasionally.
Revise sentences containing an economy and convenient meal and may seem it is, and keep verb forms parallel after could.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more widely available. Do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
Your response
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