Many children are forced to stay at school and study subjects that will be of little value to them in the future. These children may disrupt the education of the majority and should be allowed to leave school early to find themselves a job. What are your views?
Sample Response
It is often said that students should study at schoolstudy at the school for certain subjectssome certain subjects and this will be beneficial to their future prospectsgood for their future. Another point is that those kids may disrupt schoolworkinterrupt their school work and be allowed to get a jobwork early when they leave school. The viewpoint that students have to be required to attend classesforced to have the class at school is valid. One reason for this is that schools provide plenty of academic knowledgea plenty of academic knowledge to students and it is possible to broaden students’ knowledgeenlarge students’ knowledge background when they are young and it is also a good method to force students to focus on their school work and thesethis conditions might prevent students from spendingavoid students to spend their time to do bad things. In additionAddition, some subjects taught at schoolsome educations at school are useful in their livesuseful for their life such as students might learn professional skills or knowledge so that they haveskills or knowledge that they may have more opportunities to find a job in their future. For example, employers prefer to hire employees who have a higher degree and possess many professional skillsown a lot of professional skills and knowledge in Taiwan. On the other hand, it can be argued that children should leave school early to get a job because they can be sure their interesting and learn social skills through having a job. Furthermore, they can get extensive experience of societymuch experience of the society that cannot be gained at schoolwhich experience can’t obtain at school and it is possible to teachencourage children how to manage the money that they’ve earned and become independenttry to independent. Even though there are some advantages of leaving school early to find a job, I would say that kids should study the certain subjects at the school since the disadvantages are pointed out and because there exist so many ways to train children to learn independenceindependent and social skills.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response communicates a clear preference for keeping children in school and offers relevant reasons on both sides, including employment prospects and practical experience. Its main limitation is frequent imprecision in grammar and word choice, compounded by a single unbroken paragraph and several very long sentences. The highest-priority improvement is to organise the argument into clear paragraphs and express each reason in shorter, accurately controlled sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear view is presented and supported with relevant advantages of schooling and early employment, although some points remain general or unclear.
Address the claimed disruption to other pupils directly and develop the final reason for compulsory schooling more specifically.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument has a discernible sequence, but the single paragraph and long, loosely connected sentences weaken progression.
Use separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with one clearly developed central idea in each body paragraph.
Lexical Resource
The response has enough vocabulary to discuss education and employment, but frequent collocation and word-form errors reduce precision.
Use accurate combinations such as “find work,” “gain social experience,” and “become independent,” and avoid uncertain paraphrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex forms are attempted, but recurring errors with articles, agreement, sentence boundaries, and complements sometimes strain clarity.
Build shorter complete sentences first, then check articles, plurals, verb forms, and clause links before adding complexity.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many children are forced to stay at school and study subjects that will be of little value to them in the future. These children may disrupt the education of the majority and should be allowed to leave school early to find themselves a job. What are your views?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.