How important do you think it is for people to want success in life? Is ambition a positive or negative characteristic?
Sample Response
It is likely that every people have their dreams of success in life. However, two questions that how far the importance of this ambition is and whether this is positive or detrimental trend are some of the controversial issues, which would be discussed in this essay by personal opinions. With respects to levels of this desire, it seems that this depends on each individuals and their specific situations. For example, poor blue-collar workers with their back-breaking life generally put all their efforts into working to meet basic needs, hence, the essence of dreams of better life to them is obviously higher than that to those who are in full-supported conditions. Otherwise, being self-motivated in the nature, some youngsters consider success in work/study as their native fascination and try to perform their strengthen, while others with their sedentary lifestyle generally incline to sufficient and leisured life. Apart from this, the ambition’s influences seem to have both pros and cons. On the one hand, when dreams of success has become the avarice, a person would tend to do detrimental actions. These days, there are various piece of news about criminals of robbing or cheating, which only when offenders’ desire surpass their disposable conditions, do they readily do illegal ways. On the other hand, it cannot be also gainsaid that pursuing success help to heighten personal life expectancy then boosting the prosperity of the national economy afterwards. In, with all afore-mentioned opinions, no one could deny merits and demerits of appetite about big goals as well as the fluctuation of its role which relies on every person in particular circumstances.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use correct quantifier Original: every Suggested revision: all Why it matters: Every cannot directly modify the plural noun people.
- 2. Use fixed expression Original: respects Suggested revision: respect Why it matters: The standard phrase uses the singular noun respect.
- 3. Correct singular agreement Original: each individuals and their specific situations Suggested revision: each individual and their specific situation Why it matters: Each requires a singular noun and a singular reference to the person's situation.
- 4. Use natural noun phrase Original: the ambition’s influences Suggested revision: the effects of ambition Why it matters: Effects of ambition is clearer and more idiomatic than the possessive construction.
- 5. Fix number agreement Original: dreams of success has Suggested revision: a dream of success has Why it matters: The singular verb has requires a singular subject in this clause.
- 6. Remove unnecessary article Original: the avarice Suggested revision: avarice Why it matters: Avarice is an uncountable abstract noun here and does not take the definite article.
- 7. Correct verb collocation Original: do detrimental actions Suggested revision: take harmful actions Why it matters: English uses take actions rather than do actions.
- 8. Fix count expression Original: various piece of news Suggested revision: various news reports Why it matters: Various requires a plural countable expression, while news itself is uncountable.
- 9. Name offences precisely Original: criminals of robbing or cheating Suggested revision: robbery or fraud Why it matters: The sentence needs names of crimes rather than criminals followed by gerunds.
- 10. Fix number and verb Original: offenders’ desire surpass Suggested revision: offenders’ desires exceed Why it matters: The plural possessive reference requires desires, and exceed fits the comparison naturally.
- 11. Clarify available resources Original: their disposable conditions Suggested revision: their available means Why it matters: Disposable conditions is not an intelligible expression for the resources available to them.
- 12. Repair clause structure Original: do they readily do illegal ways Suggested revision: they readily act illegally Why it matters: The original uses unnecessary inversion and an incorrect verb-noun combination.
Suggested Rewrites
- every all
- respects respect
- each individuals and their specific situations each individual and their specific situation
- the ambition’s influences the effects of ambition
- dreams of success has a dream of success has
- the avarice avarice
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response addresses both the importance of wanting success and the possible effects of ambition, and its contrast between personal circumstances and positive or harmful outcomes provides a workable structure. However, the position and supporting explanations are often difficult to follow because ideas are expressed abstractly and many word choices and sentences are inaccurate. The priority is to give a direct judgment, then develop each claim through one clear, logically connected example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions receive attention and relevant positions are suggested, but the judgments are vague and key claims are insufficiently explained.
Answer each question directly and support the judgment about ambition with clearly explained consequences rather than broad assertions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a discernible sequence and uses contrast markers, but dense sentence structures and weak connections within ideas disrupt progression.
Organize the response into focused paragraphs and make each sentence explain or exemplify the claim immediately before it.
Lexical Resource
There is an ambitious attempt at varied vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word forms sometimes obscure the intended meaning.
Choose familiar, precise vocabulary for motivation and success, and verify each collocation instead of relying on abstract or unusual wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, plurals, clauses, and punctuation often strain comprehension.
Build shorter complete sentences with secure subjects and verbs, then combine them only after their grammar and logical relationship are clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
How important do you think it is for people to want success in life? Is ambition a positive or negative characteristic?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.